Something not many people know about me is that I am an immensely competitive person. But not when it comes to normal things, like grades or sports. Although I am quite pleased whenever I get good grades or win sports games, I am not overly aggressive about beating others in those situations. I am only competitive about things there's really no need whatsoever to be competitive about. Here is a list of things I unnecessarily consider a competition.
1. Brushing my teeth longer than the person next to me
Midway through brushing my teeth I eye my roommate sideways and realize we started brushing our teeth at the same time. As soon as that realization hits, my competitive side kicks in. Who's going to stop first?? Who cares more about their dental health??? I've never gotten a cavity. I wear my retainer every night. I floss (sometimes). Come hell or high water, I will make sure that I am the last person to stop brushing my teeth.
2. Beating the contestants on Wheel of Fortune
It is my life mission to fill in the blanks and finish the word or phrase before the person on the television does. And I am not above leaping up from the couch and victoriously yelling the answer at the TV screen.
3. Driving anywhere that necessitates using a GPS
The estimated time of arrival is just a mere suggestion in my eyes. Whenever I use a GPS I become thoroughly determined to get to my destination before it says I will.
4. Using fewer paper towels than the person beside me in a public restroom
I don't know what fuels my desire to prove to random strangers that I am more environmentally friendly than them, but if someone is at the paper towel dispenser next to me I always push the dispenser lever down just a smidgen and then dry my hands with the smallest shred of paper towel imaginable.
5. Refusing to get off the treadmill at the gym before the person running next to me if they started before me
I am physically incapable of stopping before them because I refuse to give them the satisfaction of seeing that I am weaker than they are.
6. Racing up the stairs in order to beat my friends who take the escalator to the top
I also do this if they take an elevator if I'm feeling particularly competitive. I am better than a machine.
7. Speeding up if someone attempts to pass me while I am walking to class
If that means I have to sprint to avoid being passed, so be it.
8. Not letting go of a pose in yoga class until the instructor says to
Someone could chop my right arm off and I would still be standing in the Warrior 2 pose until the yoga instructor told us to go into child's pose. I refuse to admit failure.
9. Correctly guessing the plot of a movie or show before anyone else
I knew Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense. I called it.
10. Being less scared than everyone else while watching a horror film
I hate scary movies with a fiery burning passion but I'll be damned if I come across as the most terrified person in the room.
11. Knowing about things before they're cool
I feel like everyone has felt this way at some point but I get so irrationally angry when something I like becomes popular even though I should be selfless and happy for the thing I like for being successful.
