I'm In Love With Your Potential Not You

I'm In Love With Your Potential Not You

Who you are is who you are but it's not right for me.
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To the boy I'm not in love with,

You know that music is what my life revolves around and it is one of my biggest influences. I came across another song a few weeks ago that resonated with me deeply. Shout out to Danielle Bradbery for the amazing writing. The beautiful song discussed acknowledging the realization of what you are in love with someone for. It's not what you think, though. The song then proceeded to the main idea of not being in love with someone, but only being in love with their potential. Realizing that you are only in love with someone's potential is probably the most heartbreaking, yet relieving feeling. I realized that I was only in love with your potential, not you. As bitter as it sounds, I was never in love with you and I never will be.

It's sad that I built you up for so long and all you did was disappoint me. I used to wish that you would try harder. I told myself that you'd get there one day, but you haven't and probably never will. Eventually, convincing myself of the inevitable has been the most exhausting experience of my life. I convinced myself that the more I tried, the more you would try. I thought that the more I loved you, the more you would love me. I was beyond wrong.

Honestly, the best thing you could have given me was distance. Because of all the time I spent alone, I had time to reflect on our relationship. I had time to wonder what it would be like to have someone who cared about me. I wondered what it would be like to have someone who wouldn't put their feelings above mine. I wondered what it would be like to have someone who complimented me instead of insulting me. Sure we had some great times and wonderful memories to reflect on but they were only great because I convinced myself that they were. They really weren't though. How could those memories be great when I couldn't share my adventure with my friends? You made me put my feelings aside because you didn't want anyone to ask questions, especially your family. I am a family person and I respect how you felt 100 percent but you took the whole "no posting pictures or tag me in anything on social media thing" to a whole different level. I thought for a while that I could do that and that it made sense. I respect what you wanted, but you didn't respect what I wanted. I wanted to make you a part of my life. I let you meet my family because I wanted you to feel welcome. Sadly, that was never reciprocated because that was not what you wanted. I never got the feeling of welcome from you. That was the most uncomfortable feeling I've ever had. I tried to make it work for so long but I just couldn't do it anymore. I wanted to love you. Honestly, I really did. But, how could I love someone who would never love me? You can't say that you did because when people love each other, they make it known to that person. You made it seem like a hassle to spend time with me.

I hope me leaving your life will open your eyes to realize that you can't treat the next girl like you did me. You need to learn that you have to respect what she wants. If it's not a mutual decision, discuss it. Do not make her feel guilty or incompetent for feeling the way she does. Never call her annoying because she changed her mind. She can change her mind if she wants to, just like I did. If you treat her like you treated me, she WILL change her mind, JUST LIKE I DID. Ultimately, she will realize that she, too, is not in love with you.

I wish you no harm. I wish you the best.I wish you a life of opportunity.

Most of all, I wish you happiness.

Sincerely,

The girl who is in love with your potential.

Cover Image Credit: travel.india.com

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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What To Do When You’re Lacking Inspiration

Honestly, I have been in a rut. I have no idea what I want to do in life. I have been lacking creative ideas. So, I decided to try different methods to pull me out of this headspace.

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It happens. Life comes at you so fast; it seems like it can only move up and then you stagnate. You get stuck, unable to pull yourself out of a cloud that seemingly engulfs you. It is okay. It is okay to be lost. It is okay to sit back and reflect. It is okay to be sad. But in these moments where you lack any type of inspiration or motivation, what do you do? I used two different methods in an attempt to pull myself back up.

1. Yoga

I became interested in the practice of yoga during my junior year of high school when the world seemed to just stop spinning. Things were not going well for me, so I decided to channel my anxiety into the practice of calm stretching. I started a yoga club in high school, and from there, found videos online to continue a free and relaxing practice. Yoga is a method to re-center and re-focus your values and recognize your place on this Earth. It can be hard when everything is so loud but doing just 15 minutes of yoga every morning is a reminder that you have a place and you are significant. You deserve to take time for yourself and quietly be, and the video above reminds me of that. I do this video every single morning before I leave my dorm room for the day. It allows me to refocus on myself and improves my mood.
This channel, Boho Beautiful, has allowed me to channel my stress into the calming practices of yoga and meditation. If I want a more rigorous workout, she has plenty of those too. By doing yoga, I found a passion and an interest. With this passion, I am reminded of my importance on this planet and that we all can do something to better ourselves.

2. Reconnect with yourself

Take a day to treat yourself. Treating yourself does not always entail indulging in your favorite foods or spa day. It can also entail simply just taking a few moments to breathe, be by yourself and just be. I have found that in LA it is very easy to get caught up in the fast-paced society, always searching for something better. However, oftentimes if you sit and reflect you will realize that you are exactly where you should be and are probably doing a lot more than you think. By reflecting I realized that I have been caught up in the mindset of "I can do better" or "I can do more". But, again, you are exactly where you should be. Slow down. Appreciate you.

While it is very easy to get caught up in the neverending cycle of social, economic, or status climbing in LA, remember that everyone has times when they lose motivation. We all have rock bottoms where it seems like nothing could get worst. But with this rock bottom remember. It truly is only up from there. To find your inspiration again, try something new. Like yoga, you may have a passion that reminds you why you are here. Remember to treat yourself. Sit. It is okay to do nothing every once in a while to ensure you are taking the best care of yourself as possible. Just sit. Be. Let the motion continue around you. And remember, it is okay to not always be a part of that movement.

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