Dear guy I have no chance with,
My goodness, don’t you have such a long title. I think it’s true what they say: that we break our own hearts. This is because you and I will forever be friends. I’ve seen the Instagram posts with another girl, and I’ve seen the ones you’ve been tagged in, with a different girl. These girls are both much cuter than I am, and will ever be. Do you have a type? Yes. Do I look anything like those girls? No. The question remains, “will I still massively crush on you?” The answer is yes. My stomach gets butterflies when we talk, and even more so if you’re simply holding my hand during a prayer. If I see you liked my Instagram picture, my heart also does a little leap. This is very dangerous, because I’m not sure if you know that I’m the girl that is secretly wanting you to realize how amazing she is. I’m in the back, watching you (as a friend) live your life without me in it the way I want to be. My friends all know about this sad, lonely, reality that I have no chance, and they say I should just give up. But, have you ever met a hopeless romantic? You’re looking at her. I probably spend most of my time imagining scenarios that will never happen in a million years. But hey, that’s okay. I don’t blame you for not wanting me, but it will always suck that you won’t be the guy in those made-up stories in my head.
On a positive note, I will always want you to be happy. Even if you are indeed someone that I don’t have a shot with, I knew about this fact going into the crush. Therefore, you being happy will ultimately fulfill me. My friends don’t believe me when I say this either. This is because in person, no matter how you say the words “I want him to be happy”, they never sound quite right. When you’re too stoic, you sound insincere. When you use a happier tone, you sound sarcastic. There’s no winning in this situation, and that’s perfectly okay. I truly do want you to find happiness, even if I watch from the sidelines and support you.
If you’ve made it this far, I do want to make something abundantly clear. I want to be your friend. Whether you know of my hopeless crush, or not, I do want to build a friendship with you. You are truly an amazing person, and make my life such a happier place to be. I can see why those girls enjoy your presence so much. I want to know things about you and be comfortable around you, even if I am harboring some feelings deep in my soul. Maybe one day, you can set me up with a friend of yours or something. But what I do hope the most, is that this crush goes away, so you can stop being the boy I have no chance with, and start being my friend that I don’t associate feelings with.
Am I breaking my own heart? Possibly. However, at the end of the day, your feelings are ultimately your own, and not what I would like them to be. I cannot create something out of you that you are not, and that is someone who is into me. But, once again, I am not bitter about it. I must keep repeating myself, because this could get portrayed as a sad letter. Instead, I am hopeful. I am hopeful in the future that includes you as a platonic friend, a future that includes the person I’m supposed to end up with, and the future that has you in it as the guy that I can always count on, and that I’m always going to be happy for.
I wish you the best,
- The girl who’s happy for you
