Life is unpredictable. Life is disappointing if things don’t always go your way. Life is an endless roller coaster with endless drops and loop di loops. Life is a journey with many obstacles in our way. Nobody can predict what exactly is going to happen next within the next twenty-four hours of each day. We have to be ready for whatever life throws at us whether it is really good or really bad news. However, there are those times when we are not ready for whatever life decides to throw at our lives. That is where we break down into a deep depression and we see that there no signs of hope left in the world. There are those times where your friends, family, or even a therapist will really help you cope right away. There are those times where we just want to be alone. There are those times where we just want to run away from our problems instead of facing them. There are those times where you think that you are alone and that nobody cares about you. That is life. It sucks. But our job though, is to find that light at the end of the tunnel.
As humans, we tend to keep our deepest thoughts and feelings bottled up inside us whenever we are out in society. That’s because we do not want our loved ones or total strangers to see us at our absolute breaking points. We want everybody to see us at our best. Such as when we get that big promotion, win that trip to Disney World, get married to our Romeo or Juliet, or simply loving everyone and everything that is going on in our lives. I know for a fact that whenever I am at my worst that I need my alone time. Of course I want my family and friends to be there to comfort me. But at the end of the day, I want to be alone in my bedroom listening to Panic! At The Disco, the Beatles, or show tunes. Or I need that escape from reality for an hour or two by watching The Breakfast Club, You’ve Got Mail, Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, When Harry Met Sally, or Sleepless in Seattle. When I am out in society in times like these, this is when this conversation comes into play:
“How are you Caroline?”
Internally: “Broken. Useless. Alone. Clueless. Confused. Betrayed. Fragile. On the verge of tears, Depressed. Anxious. Distant. Lonely. Heartbroken. Crushed. I feel sick to my stomach. Empty. Stressed. Worried. I want to run away. I got no sleep last night. Helpless. Terrified. Uncomfortable. Etc.”
Externally: “I’m fine.”
Lying to a loved one's face or even to a complete stranger’s face about how I am doing is one of the worst feelings in the world. I know that I am not alone on this opinion. I know that practically everyone who is living and breathing on this earth agrees with me. I want my loved ones to know that I am not fine yet at the same time, I want do not want them to see me as a comparison to sadness from Inside Out. Because whenever anybody is overall in a really bad mood, we tend to make the people who are around us also in a really bad mood.
Life is full of unexpected surprises. Life is full of tough choices, compromises, people coming into and out of this world, love, hate, and just about everything else in between. Our job is to get out of bed, be strong, be brave, overcome our fears, and face reality knowing that there are people out there who are willing to help.
(high voice) "I'm fine!"
"I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, cause really (deep voice) I'm fine."
