Too often, when people ask us how we are, the response we give consists of something like, "I'm fine! How're you?" Completely 'normal' response, right? Right. There's no doubt that this response is almost automatic to most people. We say it without really even thinking about it. The thing is, when we give this response, how often are we actually doing well?

Many people (myself included) feel obligated, in a sense, to report to others that they are doing just fine. We think to ourselves, "Who really wants to hear me complain about how crappy my day has been? Or that I'm feeling self-conscious about my body? Or that I'm stressed about an upcoming exam? Or that I'm just feeling down about things?"

The thing is, of course we aren't going to have an in-depth conversation about these sorts of things with the mailman, the bus driver, or the cashier at the grocery store. These are issues we open up about to our family, friends, and loved ones. However, we should certainly try to work on changing the norm that whenever people ask how we are, we automatically respond with a simple "I'm good!"

There is nothing wrong with saying, "Not too great," "I'm alright," or even, "I've been better." Yet, how often do we actually hear these responses? We need to work on spreading the message that it's okay to not be okay. It's fine to not be fine. Everyone has bad days; they're inevitable. We don't have to go into lengthy, intense details and stories, especially not to strangers. But we also shouldn't attempt to cover our feelings up or hide them with meaningless adjectives and fake smiles.

You never know what might happen if you switch up your automatic, "I'm fine" response based on how you really feel. Maybe whoever you're speaking to can relate and offer some advice, kind words, or even just a smile. Maybe they're struggling with similar issues. Maybe they're having a bad day, too. Expressing that you're not having the best day shows others that they are not alone; that everyone has struggles and has rough days.

So, the next time someone asks you how you are, be honest. With the mailman, with the bus driver, with the grocery store cashier, and most importantly, with yourself.