Yeah I'm Extra But, Like, I'm ~Chill~ About It

Yeah I'm Extra But, Like, I'm ~Chill~ About It

When and why the heck did it become uncool to be passionate, to have passion?

Ever feel like Ross from "Friends" when he starts talking about science? That feeling you get when everybody in the room is either literally telling you to stop talking or you can just feel the annoyance radiate around the room.

Let me explain, there are people in this world who will inspire the absolute f**k out of you. And once you find them, once you find your tribe, it's an incredibly freeing experience.

It's as if your lungs are just being introduced to air and that tension that you've created as a protective layer to shield the real you from the world melts away.

These are people you can bounce ideas off of, disagree with, laugh with and the best part? There's this warm circle of respect that surrounds you.

With that in mind, in life, it's likely that at least on a few occasions you've found yourself surrounded by toxicity instead. And instead of relief you feel closed off. You find yourself around people who discourage you and hurt you with systematically belittling and shrinking you.

Often, it's not something these people are conscious of but knowing that doesn't make the alienation less painful. Over time, those types of relationships weigh on you, corrode you.

Unfortunately, the latter of these two types of people seem to be the most common. Those people who make you feel extra when you're actually just passionate.

So, my question is: when and why the heck did it become uncool to be passionate, to have passion? I mean, it should be a crime to squash someone's enthusiasm.

I'll give you a personal example from my sophomore year of college. I studied abroad in Florence, Italy for a semester followed by a month long trip around Europe. I lived with a host family and studied Italian, architecture and art history. I had my breath taken away on the daily...walking across the Ponte Vecchio to get to class.

This experience changed my life, I'd even go as far as to say it gave me life. But coming home wasn't an easy adjustment. First of all, I didn't want to leave, and second, I found out that most people don't want to hear about it.

I could hear myself talking about my experience with every other sentence that left my lips, but I couldn't stop. I was bitten hard by the travel bug, and I wanted to keep my trip alive.

I could hear people start to ignore it when I talked about Europe or places I wanted to travel next. And when their annoyance turned to frustration, people actually started to make fun of how often I spoke about it.

My response was to stop sharing my passion for travel with others. Until I found the study abroad club on my campus.

The club became my way of connecting with others who loved to hear about my experience and felt comfortable sharing their own. It was a haven for me. A place I felt safe expressing that side of myself.

If you can relate to this feeling at all, I have some advice for you: you may feel like a salmon swimming upstream, but don't let generation apathy rob you of your passion.

As Flogging Molly sings, "A passionless life has no words to write." And that couldn't BE more true.

Truth is, those people who roll their eyes at your excitement are probably just jealous, which is an insecurity that they're projecting on you.

So, f**k 'em. You do you. Be extra. Be fearless.

Be beautifully and relentlessly you because your people will find you. Your tribe will be drawn to the real you, I promise.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf

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To My Little Brother

Six things I want you to know.

I am not your mother, but I am your big sister.

I cannot even apologize for it, I am always going to act like your second mom. I am going to keep yelling at you to (please) put down the toilet seat and to clean up the mess you made in the kitchen. It doesn't matter to me how often you say "I am not your mother," because you're my little brother and I'm always going to be the boss.

I never mean it when I tell you to grow up.

I hope that you have taken, and continue to take, full advantage of your childhood. As often as I complain about your maturity level, my wish for you is to put off growing up for as long as possible. The closer I get to real adult life, the more I miss home and all of the worries I didn't have. You shouldn't rush through the years you have left at home, you are doing just fine the way you are.

No, I didn't tell Mom.

All of our secrets will always stay secrets. I may have ratted you out to Mom about being the one to break her new vase, but I hope you know that our brother-sister bond protects all of the private things we share. Please, never forget that I'll always be here to listen to you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for giving you your first bloody nose, and for laughing at you afterward. I'm sorry for every time I have blown you off for plans with a guy, or to get an extra hour of sleep. I'm sorry for yelling at you to leave me alone and for slamming the door in your face. I'm sorry for all of the times you asked me to play outside that I didn't. I'm sorry for all of my broken promises.

I forgive you.

I forgive you for all of the “little brother" insults you have used. I forgive you for using all of my paints and letting them dry out. I forgive you for embarrassing me in front of every guy I ever brought home. I even forgive you for cutting off that piece of my hair in fourth grade.

I am so proud of you.

It isn't said nearly enough, but I am so proud of you, little brother. I am envious of the passions that you have and the way that you pursue them with no fear! I am excited to see where you go in life (but don't go anywhere too quickly). Keep working hard and doing what you love, no one can fault you for following your heart. I love you so much, and I will always be your biggest supporter and fan!

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Stop Assuming Your Queer Friends Are Going To End Up Falling For You

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none.


Ever since I came out my senior year, I've encountered bumps of my friendships due to my sexuality. I think people understand gay, lesbian, and bisexual identities rather well. However, there are other members of the LGBTQ+ community that isn't as understood as well.

I identify as pansexual but start using the term queer. Essentially, I don't have a preference if someone identifies as female or male. When it comes to love and relationships, I care about the quality of the person and if I'm getting the love and respect I deserve.

However, to some of my friends, they seemed to become afraid. They distanced themselves in our friendships in fear I would end up falling for them.

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none. You are my friend for a reason. If I liked you, I would honestly be too nervous to talk to you.

It's nice to know to have that kind of self-confidence where you think everyone has a crush on you. That's the attitude to have because you are a pretty great person. However, sorry to break it to you, but you just are not my type.

There is absolutely no reason to cut off a friendship just because you don't understand. Your queer friends would probably like you to ask questions. It can be a sign you care about them and showing support. There is nothing wrong with asking questions either. When you're in class and you don't know anything, then you ask a question. When you are getting to know someone, you ask questions. Even if you knew this person for a while, ask away!

I think there is a stigma of not knowing something and feeling embarrassed. However, it shouldn't be this way. We should embrace the unknown, learn, and grow from it. It's 2019. It's all about being open-minded to differences. We have to do better for the next generation.

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