Almost four years of my life were spent with you. We had a lot of good times…but the majority of the relationship is something I don’t like to think about. When I finally decided to end our relationship, there were a lot of things that I never got to say.
I did everything under the sun for you. I was always there for you when no one else was. I had your back when everyone else turned on you. I was the one you could always count on. I was the one who cared about you. I was the one who stuck around when everyone told me to leave. I was the one who loved you when you gave me every reason not to. I was the one who took your crap.
My entire life revolved around you. Do you have any idea on how much I missed out on because I spent my time sitting at home waiting around for you? Do you have any idea my relationship with my friends and my family suffered because you had me brain washed into thinking you were the best person in the world? Do you know how many times I cried myself to sleep because you ignored me that day or how many times I was up all night worried sick about you?
None of that mattered to you. Nothing I did was good enough for you. You took advantage of me in more than one way. You knew exactly how to play me over and over and over. You took my heart and threw it away, but you knew that I would always come back because I truly loved you. You told me you would never leave me. You told me that you wouldn’t hurt me anymore. You told me you loved me. All of those things ended up to be lies.
For all those years I was so worried about you, I forgot about the most important thing: myself. I lost myself. Everyone around me could see it, but I couldn’t because love is blind. You were the only thing that mattered to me. You knew I loved you, but you broke my heart anyway. You didn’t care about me.
But let me just tell you, I’m so much better without you now. I became a whole different person when you left. So let me take the time to thank you for everything you have done, because it made me better. Without you in my life, I have found myself and my happiness. I have done new things I never would’ve done with you around. I’m making a great life for myself all because of you. You helped me realize what I am actually worth and best of all, what I really deserve. I laugh a little bit louder, smile brighter, and fly higher than I ever have before. I’m stronger than the girl you knew. Most importantly, I am happy. My life is amazing now and even though I still struggle, I wouldn’t change a thing.
And you know what? You’re going to miss me. You’re going to wake up every morning and miss my texts. You’re going to regret not being there and holding my hand. You’re going to wish you had told me you loved me back after all those times I said it. You’re going to compare every girl to me and hope I don’t notice. And you will miss my laugh, my smile, my heart. You’re going to regret this, if you already don’t. You’re going to miss me…and the worst part is, it’s all your fault.
I didn’t cry for you when the relationship ended…and almost two years later, I still haven’t cried over you. So here’s to the future, because I’m done with the past.
