As a sorority girl, you would probably expect me to be a big fan of the acronyms above. I mean, I like totally comment "ilysm" on all my sisters' Instagram pictures!! Like, how else would they know how much I love them?!
All jokes aside, I am actually not a huge fan of those forms of saying "I love you." "Ilysm" stands for "I love you so much" and "ily" stands for "I love you." Not only are they almost a neon sign screaming, "I'm basic!!!!!", they completely reduce one of the greatest miracles on earth to something spit out as much as some people say "Roll Tide" or "War Eagle."
Love is a beautiful concept, action,and feeling--it is not passive. Love is not something to be taken lightly. According C.S. Lewis in his book "The Four Loves", there are four kinds of love: storge, philia, eros, and agape. None of these should be reduced to ridiculous acronyms like "ilysm" and "ily."
Storge can be defined as familial love or affection. A good example of this is the love a mother or father has for their child. This is one of the most natural kinds of love. By the word natural, I mean that this love is not forced. It occurs without coercion. This love is present without the evaluation of the characteristics that are deemed valuable by society. I know that my parents have this love for me because they love me even though I am horrible at handling finances and constantly need help. Anybody other than my parents would have given up on me by now. If I ever said "ilysm" or "ily" instead of "I love you" to my mom or dad, they would a) have no idea what I'm even saying; and b) be disappointed that I am apparently incapable of saying "I love you."
Philia is the love between friends that is as strong as siblings' love for each other or brotherly love. This love is considered the least natural of the loves. This is not to say that it's unnatural but that we do not need friendship in order to reproduce -- it is not instinctive or organic. Lewis further explains that true friendships are a lost art. What modern society considers friendship is but a shallow copy of true friendships like the Biblical friendship between David and Jonathan. This type of love grows out of companionship; it is a deeply appreciative love. It is a love that is freely chosen. In ancient times, true friendship was praised as a great virtue. Nowadays, it has become more or less the gateway for romantic love. You rarely read a modern epic tale of friendship. True friendship is founded on common interests and the constant challenging of each other to go deeper. There is nothing better than growing and learning together as true friends. Those memories are so much more important than the memories of last weekend at the bar. If you are lucky enough to have a true friendship, do not demean it with silly euphemisms like "ilysm" and "ily."
Eros is what we know as romantic love. It isn't necessarily just preoccupied with sexual love. This love's whole focus is on what Lewis calls the "love-object." This love essentially ignores the self and instead is solely concerned with his/her beloved. This love isn't based on the belief that the love-object can provide the self with something that no one else can -- it is love for their own self. This love is centered on appreciating and benefiting the love-object. This love is in danger of becoming a god or an idol because of the sheer awesomeness of being in love. Some people do not get the chance to experience this type of love in their time on earth. If you are lucky enough to experience this kind of love, be thankful first of all. Do not be flippant and debase your beloved with the sheer laziness of "ilysm" and "ily" rather than "I love you."
Agape equals unconditional love. This kind loves and serves despite changing circumstances. Lewis calls this love the greatest of the four. While the other three were earthly types of love, agape is divine love, "God love". Some have defined it as "the love of God for man and of man for God." This love is incomprehensible for me. How can God love me so much regardless of my many sins? I am so dirty, so disgusting, but God chose me. Me!!! Despite my obvious verbosity from above, I am speechless. As a depraved human, I do not love anyone unconditionally -- not even my dog (shocking, I know). Agape love is the purest of all loves. How could you degrade God's perfect example of love with a hideous thing like "ilysm" or "ily"? Imagine ending your prayers with "ilysm" rather than "Amen" -- it is borderline disrespectful. Do not debase God's perfect love with a horrible "ilysm" or "ily".
Love is a beautiful, powerful concept. Modern society has tried to diminish its value with crude acronyms like "ilysm" and "ily". It tries to debase it by calling lustful passions "love" rather than by its true moniker. C.S. Lewis' book "The Four Loves" really expounds on the definitions of this more and far better than I ever could. Lewis wasn't around for Instagram but I am sure that he would be horrified by today's definitions of love. Love isn't love anymore. It is this made-up feeling we throw at anyone with whom we are acquainted. As Christians, we are called to something higher and more divine. We must lead the way by example and show the world that love is so much more than a popular hashtag or acronym. It is in fact a beautiful miracle that shows us the wonderful mercy and grace of God every single day. Next time you go to post on social media, please please refrain from debasing love with horrific acronyms like "ilysm" and "ily."
