If You Ghosted, Stay A Ghost
Start writing a post
Swoon

If You Ghosted, For The Love Of All Things, Stay A Ghost

I have no room for zombies in my life.

Tracy Tran
Jul 21, 2020
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
1029
A woman texting.

Picture this: you're on your third date with a nice guy. He's cute, and like actually cute and not "I'm lonely and I've been swiping on Tinder for an hour now" cute. You walk down the street to get some boba with him, and your conversation with him is always interesting. No awkward pauses, no weird behaviors, everything's normal and great. But then, all of a sudden, he doesn't reply to your tests anymore. When you text him a "Happy Thanksgiving" to hopefully start a conversation, he never replies again. Everyone has a story like this, where they've been ghosted.

Ghosting is so common nowadays, that there's probably no one who hasn't been ghosted. But, what is a zombie? According to Cosmopolitan, they're"people who ghost you, and then, after some time has passed, rise from the dead to hit you up again". During quarantine, the zombies have once again been at it yet now, it's more common than ever when boredom is the only thing at our fingertips. We've seen it on twitter in viral tweets, or maybe you experienced it too with a zombie of your own coming back into your life.

It can be tempting to get back with a zombie, but if you do, here are a few red flags to look after.

1. After hitting you up, they'll ghost you again.

The most obvious red flag is that when they're done getting what they want from you, from entertainment to attention to nudes, they'll ghost you again. Suddenly they'll create excuses to not see you after the pandemic is over, make excuses to talk to you less and avoid you altogether. If they do this, just don't message them again.

2. You've only heard from them because they have nothing else better to do.

Everyone gets bored, I get it. It can be infuriating to constantly be contained in your home, but in month 4 of the pandemic, I'd think that he'd pick up some other hobbies other than rudely popping back into peoples' lives.If they're constantly saying how they aren't doing anything, and bored, and seem to never do anything to relieve that boredom, it's a red flag. Being unproductive due to being in a pandemic is normal, but complaining about boredom and expecting another person to relieve that for you is crossing the line.

3. There wasn't an apology or acknowledgment of their past behavior.

If they didn't open up with an explanation and proper apology for ghosting, it's an automatic no. Ghosting is immature and rude, and if they can't even admit they were wrong and apologize for rude behavior, they probably aren't worth your time. No one needs a partner with a huge ego.

If there's one thing that I know, it's that a guy hitting you back up because of selfish reasons is an unhealthy way to go. Zombies are people who have ghosted you before, and unless you have a good viewpoint of that person, they usually aren't worth your time. They've already ghosted you once and wasted your time so I wouldn't recommend letting them do it again.

But if they are worth your time, maybe it is a good time to reconnect. There are plus sides to reconnected over quarantine, after all, you can connect more deeply if you have time to talk to them. Of course, it is always a good idea to set boundaries. Make sure you have cute facetime dates or play fun video games together like Quiplash. As well as keeping good boundaries such as when you need alone time, because being in a state where we constantly have free time, you can feel pressured to always keep in contact. To avoid fatigue, remember to be open, communicative, and clear.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

breakups
Report this Content
Student Life

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

Siena College
19007
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
small towns
Relationships

Grateful Beyond Words: A Letter to My Inspiration

I have never been so thankful to know you.

University of New Haven
297370
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College
92291
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
waitlisted
Swoon

Navigating the Talking Stage: 21 Essential Questions to Ask for Connection

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

National Writers Society
154717
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
single life
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

Marist College
70901
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Trending Topics

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments