Moving on is scary and, if anyone tells you otherwise, they are lying. Our fears about moving on aren't so simple. Maybe our fears are the pit in our stomach when we feel disappointed again, or when we validate another let down. It is when you finally have the realization that it's time to free yourself from the place you've been stuck in for far too long. The hardest part about moving on is understanding why we found security in the longing for company from the wrong person, and why we adjusted to the loneliness we feel from the inconsistency that they have provided. Maybe our biggest fears are that we are scared to be alone, and scared to learn how to put the pieces back together. Moving on means change, and change is terrifying.
There is a fear of not being open to loving again after having your heart broken. It comes from giving away your ability to fully make up your mind, because you hope that the past will come back and make it better. You hope that they've changed and that they've picked you the way you picked them for so long, but, the truth is, if it hasn't worked by now it's not going to. Holding on to something that has hurt you is the worst kind of toxic relationship.
Don't limit yourself.
I think that we put ourselves in gray-area relationships because we are stuck, and we find ourselves questioning our own confidence or our decisions because we are scared that if we end up alone that we'll stay alone. Just because one relationship doesn't work out the way you had planned, does not mean that they all are going to end the same.
Learning how to move on takes patience with yourself.
Moving on is a constant struggle between your mind that is telling you it's time to let go and stop putting yourself through this and your heart that feels like it's shattering like crushed plastic. We associate moving on with immediately getting back out there and dating someone new and, to most of us that have suffered a broken heart, this means the potential to be hurt again. But here's the thing, just because you let go of a failed relationship, doesn't mean that you can't be by yourself.
You need time to love you.
When you give your all to a relationship that doesn't work out, you begin to question yourself. You find it hard when it's over to fully feel like you deserve love, because they didn't give it to you. This is not true. After a breakup or a broken heart, it becomes a vital time to learn this message:
Love yourself. Do it. Have fun, go on adventures, hangout with your friends, get that Khloe Kardashian revenge body, start eating healthier, do the things you love and that make you happy.
When it's time...
There will come a time when you realize that you have moved on. You won't text them or Snapchat them anymore. You won't have harsh feelings. You simply have found peace in knowing that it's over, and that you're still OK. It doesn't happen overnight (trust me), but, when that day comes that you finally realize you really have moved on, you will be happy. There will also come a day when you meet someone new, don't shut yourself and your feelings away from their potential. They are not the same person from your past, so be open to love. No matter how scary it can be, because life is short, but sweet, for certain.
