If You Want To Die Tonight, Please Read This.

If You Want To Die Tonight, Please Read This

I want you to live. More importantly, I want you to want to live.

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If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Drowning.

Drowning.

Drowning.

Drowning.

The thoughts are deafening, screaming at you that the world would be better off without you and that no one would care if you were gone.

So, you find yourself on the Internet, searching for ways to die in a relatively painless way that will leave the least amount of mess for others. You find yourself thinking about the bridge a half mile from your house or the assortment of pills lining the walls of your medicine cabinet. You remember that your roommates will not be home from class for a few hours; that you are totally alone.

And then, in your Internet search for ways to finally escape the pain, you happen upon this article.

Yes, this one right here.

This one telling you to stay.

And, well, you find yourself still reading along because a piece of you, even if it is the smallest piece of your existence, wants a reason to live.

* * *

I am not sure what is causing you pain, and maybe you honestly are not sure either. All you know is that you have this pain — this never-ending pain — and it's become enough.

Society tells us that we need to tattoo a smile onto our faces and pretend that everything is OK even when we are aching on the inside. If you take one thing away from this article, I want you to remember this — it is OK not to be OK. It is OK if you are not OK today or tomorrow or next week or a year from now. However, one day, it will be a little better and there will be a little bit of sunshine peeking out through the clouds.

I want you to live. More importantly, I want you to want to live.

And, sometimes, wanting to live is about just noticing the little things that make you happy and remembering them.

Like the way the sun looks glistening off of the lake by your house at 5:47 p.m. on a Thursday evening.

Or the way the scent of your coffee creeps up your nostrils while it cools to a drinkable temperature.

Or the fact that a new episode of your family's favorite show is coming on this Thursday.

Or the way your Lush bath bomb colors your water into beautiful shades of blue and green and yellow and pink.

Or the dinner your Mom cooked for tonight to share with you, your Dad, and your sister.

* * *

Life may not turn out how you plan, but perhaps that is not a bad thing.

God has a plan for you.

Why the plan involves you feeling this way, I do not know, but I do know that God did not bring you into this world to suffer.

You deserve help.

You deserve love.

You deserve to be supported.

Even if you feel alone, I promise you are never alone.

You can text "Hello" to 741-741 at any hour of the day and someone will be there to support you.

* * *

So, tonight while you want to die, please just think about the last time you smiled so hard that your face physically hurt or laughed until you almost peed. Just think about a time that you felt something besides what you are feeling now and hold onto it.

Hold onto it, lie down, and go to sleep.

And wake up tomorrow knowing that you are a survivor.

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Suicide Is Not The Only Way Out, We All Have A Savior

There is someone out there wants to help out. Do you realize it?

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While depression is a mental illness in itself, suicide is not. However, suicide is a serious potential consequence of those mental disorders. The many warning signs and triggers for suicide include major depression, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, and substance abuse.

The most common cause of suicide is that someone feels like that no one can help them...or save them.

Believe it or not, someone's savior is out there every day willing to help them. People don't enjoy asking for help because they are reluctant and resistant at first. That's the first step to recovery: realizing that you're not well and that you need to talk to someone. It's next to impossible to advance in today's society if you neglect the fact that something in your head is telling you to talk to someone and see them on a regular basis.

Here's the one thing that people are afraid of when they want to ask for help: how do they do it effectively? How do you impose upon people without making them feel imposed on? As mentioned, your first step is to get over your reluctance to get assistance, but there's more to it than that.

In order to get over this mindset, you need to understand that some of the most common ways of asking for help are really unproductive. This is because they make people less likely to want to give it. The easiest way of overcoming the personal demon is realizing most people are more than willing to lend a hand and relate to what is wrong with the person.

A big example is myself. When I first moved to my community, I was about 7 or 8 years old. I went to a different school district, met new students, new kids, new teachers, and it was really intimidating for me. I struggled to fit in, often bullied, and did everything I could to isolate myself from everyone. Those actions for me carried all throughout elementary school, to the final weeks of my senior year in high school.

That's right. For over a decade, I had been a loner, not wanting anything to do with anyone or anything, and refused to get help because I was depressed with the thought that no one would want to help me. During twelfth grade, I began to admit that I was depressed but never really came to terms with it. I often denied it even though it was pretty obvious I was. It wasn't until years later that I came to terms with my depression and started seeing my therapist on a regular basis.

The key to a successful request for help is to turn your focus to the benefits of realizing your problems to the person you want to have helped you. You want to persuade them to be helping because they want to, not because they must, and that they're in control of the decision.

This is why suicide seems like the best option for people struggling to find help. They are in a mindset that because they are unwilling to help themselves, no one will ever help them and that they are better off dead. Saying things like, "Nobody can save me," or "What's the point of going on?" are scary signs that mean bad things.

Never believe that suicide and running away from your problems are the best answers and solutions.

Whoever made the phrase "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" was a very wise person. Someone out there does care about what you are going through and how much you struggle. It is up to you to break out of your shell, conquer the demons that hold you back, and get the help that is necessary for you to live the life you want to live.

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