To have anxiety and depression feels like everything at once or nothing at all. It is so exhausting, I just want to run away from it all. That's when the depression starts to kicks in when the anxiety is just so overwhelming that all I want to do is lay in my bed for hours on end and not think. Not to care. That's when I start to push people away not realizing it. Though what I do realize is this, that I am not alone and that mental illness has so many layers and I am still learning all of them.

Fear. Worry. Panic. Anxious. Sadness. Stressed.

Those are only a few feelings that I experience along with many other people in this world who have a mental illness. For me, I experience anxiety and depression. But first, let me just say, I wish anxiety and depression did not exist. I wish I did not live in a constant state of nervousness. I wish my anxiety and depression did not hold me back from doing the things that I love to do. I wish I could stop overthinking so much. Above all, I do not wish for anyone to have such mental illness such as these because life is difficult as it is. But still, you are not alone.

To come to the realization that anxiety and depression not only runs in my family but to know that you have it as well is just another barrier that I have to face with. The devious thing about mental illnesses is that it is all in your head and it feels like you are trapped in with no way out. Like I live in this cage that no one understands what I am feeling even though there are "Approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S.—43.8 million, or 18.5%—experiences mental illness in a given year." So no, I am (nor are you) not alone, but it sure does feel like it sometimes. But still, you are not alone.

Having a wonderful support system is so important. To know that there are 1 in 5 adults experience mental illness and to know that there are people in your life that are there for you when your mental illness creeps in are two different things. Within the past few months, I have learned that having friends and family that I can lean on to talk about the things I experience with anxiety and depression is a must. To be able to open up about the certain symptoms that I face with dealing with anxiety and depression makes me understand a better sense of who I am and also gives my friends and family a better way to understand what I am going through. I have also learned that some people do not know what it is like to live with a mental illness. To try to explain something that is living in your head 24/7 is almost impossible. But still, you are not alone.

Mental illness does not have a face. You can just walk down the grocery store or down the hall at your school and pinpoint who has a mental illness and who does not. You can't judge someone by how they act and behave and assume they have a mental illness or not. Just because you can not physically see it, does not mean it is not real. Mental illness is very real, and it impacts very real people that deal with this on the daily basis. Though everyone experiences their illness a little different, still, you are not alone.