Being in a Relationship to Being Single
I remember thinking a year ago, "no one is going to love me if he couldn't." What I didn't realize then was that I was completely wrong. Someone would love me and someone would love me more than he could; myself. It has been over a year since I have been in a serious relationship and I never thought I would be as happy as I am right at this very moment. Going through a break up you think it is the end of the world, questioning how you are possibly going to be able to live without that person that you spent so much time with, who are you going to vent to about different things, or what you will do with your weekends now. All of this ran through my head after coming out of a relationship that seemed like it lasted for eternity and I didn’t know how to cope with being on my own. I remember not knowing what it was like to live without someone else that you spent most of your days and nights with, but now I don’t know what it is like to live with having someone else. I have found myself becoming more independent as time goes on.
You Don't Need Anyone Who Doesn't Need You
Before letting any man come into my life, I need to focus on myself. Often I found myself wasting time on guys who never showed me any effort and attention, this made me realize that I don't need anyone who doesn't need me. I didn’t turn into one of those people who hate relationships because I got my heart broken; I love love. I love seeing two people happy and in love because that is extremely hard to come by. I would just much rather work on myself at this point in my life and that is OK.
It's Not You, It's Them
At first, I thought that being single meant I was alone, that I was doing something wrong because no one wanted me, except it was the complete opposite of that. Being single doesn’t mean you’re alone, it means you have time to focus on the most important aspect of your life; yourself. Being single also doesn’t mean that you are doing something wrong, it means you are strong enough to be on your own waiting to find the right one. Sometimes relationships can center attention on just that one person while trying to balance everything else in your life when being single makes you realize you need to focus your energy on every single person in your life including yourself.
It's My Time to Shine, It's "Me-Time"
Being single also means that you get to prioritize for yourself. Being single means you get to better yourself. Being single means you get to figure out what you truly want. Everyone always says, “you have to love yourself before you give your love to someone else,” which I always thought was ridiculous because you can love other people but not be happy with yourself. The more I became independent, the more I realized it was true. If I don’t love myself, how is the love I want to give to others real? How is it real if I can’t even love my own being? People fail to realize that being single isn’t just about partying and being able to sleep with whoever you want. Being single is about exploring life with your own self, loving your soul within, and realizing things about yourself that you never knew. “My boyfriend/girlfriend won’t let me” shouldn't be a common thing, they are not your mom, they are not your dad. You are your own person. You make your own decisions. Hell, you might even pay for your own bills. No one should be able to tell you what you can and cannot do except for yourself. People are so quick to hop into relationships because they feel lonely and they want another person to share life with which is understandable but you can’t rush love. Love is something that is meant to grow within time; it is something beautiful and it shouldn’t be thrown to people who don’t deserve it. Be free and you will find the person who deserves you, effortlessly. Everything takes time but while you are waiting make the most of every moment that you are given.
Being Single is a Luxury, Not a Punishment
I focus too much of my time on school and work to try to make time for someone who might be temporary. In my spare time I enjoy writing, shopping, traveling and working to afford my expensive taste as well as going out with my girlfriends. With that being said, why would I need a man to make me happy or successful? I don't because I can do that for myself. Do not let anyone ever tell you, "one day you will need a man," because that day isn't coming. You don't need a man to live. You don't need a man to be happy. You don't need a man to feel alive. Many of us actually love being single and independent. It is usually much easier than wasting time on guys who don't appreciate your value. Don’t ever think that being single is a punishment or that no one will ever love you because being on your own is one of the greatest gifts. In time, I know I will find my love-- until then I will become more positive, grow, and love every single day for myself. For myself, I will love. For myself, I will adventure. For myself, I will create a future. For myself, I will live.
