As we enter a new age of sexual health, the phrase “no means no” has taught people of all ages the importance of consent. The issue that this can cause is that consent is not black or white. The grey area is where we tend to fall into the category of “I said yes but I meant no.”

It is common for those to say “why didn't you just say no to them?” when it comes to some unwanted sexual encounters. What we fail to realize is that people use their power of persuasion over people. By holding something for “ransom," like their relationship status or how that person will view them if they don’t. Other factors can include age, power dynamics, and intoxication. It’s more common than most people think.

In my personal experience, I have heard friends or other female colleagues talk about how “I really didn't want to” when discussing their past sexual encounters. Consent in its basic form is “an agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity.” But what happens when you’re talked into sex?

This becomes a very difficult topic considering it is teetering towards being sexual assault. Our idea of consent needs to change. Saying yes to one sexual act does not mean yes to another. Anyone, male or female, has the right to stop the sexual act if they feel uncomfortable or feel threatened by the other.

Consent in itself is sexy. Communication for your wants and dislikes should be incorporated with every sexual encounter you have. Setting boundaries between you and your partner, respecting someone's space and avoiding sexual coercion are actions that need to be taught with the phrase "no means no."