If you could go back, if you had a time machine would you stop yourself?

Stop yourself from making all those mistakes.

Stop yourself from saying “I love you” when you didn’t really mean it, when that voice in the back of your head was playing the role of Jiminy Cricket. Cheep cheep cheep. “Something’s not quite right, are you sure you know what you are doing? What you are saying? Are you sure you want to follow through?” Shut up, Jiminy or I’ll make you into cricket stew.

A year is a lot of wasted time.

Would you go back to that moment when you were crossing the street on your bike in high school? Junior year. So excited to go to your best friend’s house and study for finals, listen to Green Day, and talk about the future. You could see her street sign as you crossed. Well, almost crossed. You were so close. So close until BAM! A car going 35 MPH hit you and you went flying. I wonder if the blood stains are still there. Probably not.

Months and months of recovery. There’s so many different kinds of recovery in the world. Physical recovery. Heart break recovery. Recovery has a lot of connotations.

If I could go back to that time when I was not so very nice of a person, when I yelled at my mom when she didn’t deserve it, when I woke up one morning and realized I didn’t like the person I was becoming, would I be able to change any sooner? I’ve already changed so much. Made so many great strides in my self-improvement. But if I could go back with a time machine, would it be worth it? Would it make me a better person?

Or would it make me cease to be?

Because even if you could go back,

why would you?