If I stay.
If I stay will you love me the way I am supposed to be loved?
Will you be my better?
Will you be what I deserve?
If I stay.
If I stay do you promise to never let me go?
Will you hold me?
Calm me down?
If I stay.
If I stay will I be your one and only?
Will you not feel alone when I’m with you?
Even if we’re not physically together.
If I stay.
If I stay will you give her up for me?
Why does she need to be in your life?
Why do they? Am I not your better?
If I stay.
If I stay will you try and get to know me this time?
Get to really know me.
From my favorite color to my favorite singer.
Which you got wrong and that still pisses me off just as much as it hurts me,
kills me.
Get to know my everything. In every which way.
Just like I do you.
If I stay.
If I stay will you let the world see me?
Even if it’s just through a picture. Once in a while.
That’s all I ask.
If I stay will you not hide me?
If I stay will you tell me why you used to?
If I stay will you open up to me and allow yourself to have emotion?
Just so I know you have them.
Because it always feels like you don’t. Even with me.
If I stay will you tell me why you love me?
If you are or can let yourself be again.
Can you show me words of affirmation?
Just to me. Just so I know.
If I stay.
If I stay do I even truly know you like I think I do?
If I stay can you prove to me that you’re still the man I once knew?
The man I first fell in love with even though I hated you at first.
If I stay will you let our story continue even though it’s had its broken chapters.
Just as much as it has chapters that are unfinished.
If I stay so you want to find out if we can fix those chapters.
If I stay do you want to see what those chapters have left for us just as much as I do?
If I stay do you want to make more?
If I stay…
If I stay…
If I stay I know I’m accepting that you’ve done none of these things before.
If I stay I know I gave you multiple chances and here is just another.
If I stay will you take it.
Take my chance.
If I stay will you be these things?
If I stay… I know you won’t… but I want to stay.
If you stayed I wanted you too see all the things we could have had.
If you stayed I wanted you to see that I was your better.
If you stayed I wanted you to see that no one would ever love you like I did.
Like I do.
If you stayed you’d see that I knew you every which way.
Inside and out.
If you stayed I wanted you to see how you hurt me.
If you stayed I wanted you to see you smash my heart into a million pieces.
If you stayed I wanted you to see me pick them up and watch you smash it again.
Into more and more pieces every time.
If you stayed I wanted you to see how I know you played me.
If you stayed I wanted you to see how I know I was not the only one who made you feel not alone… when I should have been.
If you stayed I would show you now how I don’t need you.
How I know you’ll never change.
How I know you’ll never be these things.
Not for me, not for her, not for anyone.
If you stayed I’d show you how you don’t own me anymore.
Not as you go to shoulder to cry on.
Not as your source of happiness when you know you have nowhere else to go.
Not for your convenience.
If you stayed I’d show you how we were.
How we could have been.
If you stayed I would have shown you what you lost.
If you stayed you’d know that I did. If you stayed I’d leave you.
If I stay I’d be a fool.
If I stay that’d be the last time.
If I stay was your last chance.
You didn’t.
Don’t you wish I would have too?
