If He Wasn't Good For Me, Why Can't I Get Over Him?

If He Wasn't Good For Me, Why Can't I Get Over Him?

You don't have to fight the breakup battle alone.
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Breakups are hard… Even the ones that we know are literally the best thing for us.

And as we fight like hell to move on, we come to the golden question…

“I know he was bad for me, so why do I still feel so deeply for him? Why do I still love him? I thought once I got back on track with the Lord, I wouldn’t desire him anymore…but the feelings just continue to increase-growing stronger and stronger.How long will I fight these feelings? I left him in the past, but he is still present in my heart.”

Wouldn’t it be nice if when we finally took a step to free ourselves from something that wasn’t good for us (aka, an unhealthy relationship) that we actually felt FREE?

I think that when we break off a relationship, walk away from something thrilling but damaging, and start on a new path, we feel the loss of companionship and hope that the pang of loneliness doesn’t trap us. That we escape its grasp and run into the arms of the RIGHT guy, the NEW life, and the FREEDOM of moving on.


Follow Jordan on her blog, Soul Scripts.


I mean, that’s how we want it to go, right?

End bad relationship? Check!

Heal from the pain of the breakup? Check!

Learn my lesson and grow in my faith? Double Check!

Never think about the ex? Check!

Meet the RIGHT guy? Check!

Live happily ever after? YES PLEASE.

But sometimes…most times…it doesn’t really happen in that perfect little order and, instead, our heart fights this dragon that has us in his grasp, breathing the pain of loss and loneliness down our neck.

So there we are, confused and alone in a dark cave, like, “HI, WHY AM I STILL SITTING IN THIS CAVE WITH THIS DANG DRAGON?”

You know, I wish I could point to a date on a calendar and say, “look, if you can hold on a little longer and make it to here, you’ll never struggle with this again. The dragon will stop breathing his fiery breath on you and you won’t feel the pain of loneliness or heartbreak again. Ever. You’ll never even think about it.”

Unfortunately, I can’t do that for two reasons:

  1. I don’t have a calendar and I can’t see into the future.
  2. I don’t know your heart or what God is doing in it.

But I do know one thing.

Your pain is normal and your feelings are valid. It’s a beautiful thing that you are taking steps out of a relationship that may not have been quite right and stepping into one with Jesus. And it’s a bazillion percent true that He alone can satisfy you.

BUT, He didn’t say that you wouldn’t experience pain. In fact, He said you would have trouble in this life. In fact, He said that you WOULD have pain in this life. But that you can fight it bravely because He has overcome the worst of the worst in the world — EVEN heartbreak like yours (John 16:33).

While you’re still sitting in that cave, while your heart is still mending and trying to move on and out of the cave, you may be thinking of Jesus more like a bucket of water than a Knight in Shining Armor. Perhaps you’ve turned Him into a treatment to ease the pain instead of the cure that ends it.


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When the pang of loneliness breaths its fiery breath on you, are you trying to dump water on it to diffuse it temporarily? Or are you letting Him fight the dragon for you — to the death? Are you turning to Jesus looking for a band-aid? Or are you letting Him actually cure the pain?

Letting Jesus overcome the world of pain we face requires a total surrender of our sword — of our desire to fix it ourselves and have it comfort us in the process. He’s not just a teddy bear to squeeze. He’s a powerhouse and we're invited to step into that power, but it costs us something. It costs us our own strength, power, and trust in ourselves that we once had.

The old way of life and the past will always try to burn us and remind us of its existence because it wants us to live there — especially if there was a thrill to it. Old habits, old flames, old love. But when Jesus is your Knight, your cure, and your King…then you are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).

So I guess I just want to tell you that although I can’t give you the perfect answer or an exact date where you will move on and conquer the dragon in your heart once and for all, I can tell you have a Knight in Shining Armor who says:

“Hey, look. You're going to face pain in this life and you won't always understand it. But compared to the glory that will come from it, this is minor. It's not even worth comparing. And, in the middle of the battle, you don't have to fight alone. Lay down your sword. I got this."

Think big picture. Think conquering dragons, not just dousing the flame.

Because you DO deserve a man who would die fighting for you. And you do have that man who proved He would die for you, 2000 years ago, on a cross.

And He conquered more than the dragon’s fiery breath. He conquered the fires of hell.

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Cole And Sav LaBrant Give Me Hope That Our Generation Isn't Defined By Hookup Culture

Let's make "dating" a trend again.

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In case you haven't heard, Savannah and Cole's relationship is literally #goals.

From how they met to the way they kept Jesus in the center of everything they did, their relationship shows us that not all guys (and girls) just want to "hook up" or have a one night stand.

Being in college, it can be very hard to distance yourself from hookup culture because almost everyone participates in it in some way. This can mean meeting a random guy at a frat party and then going home with him that night, or it can mean sending a "You up?" text at 2 in the morning with only one intention in mind.

We, as a generation, don't date anymore.

A boy doesn't ask a girl (in person) to go to dinner and a movie anymore. If they are to do it, it's done over text and is totally impersonal. If a boy picks up a girl from their house, they honk the car horn instead of ring the doorbell.

But, some people still follow these few simple rules of dating. Some men choose to look nice for a date, bring the girl flowers, and only has the intention of getting to know the girl better, instead of only wanting to have sex with her by the end of the night.

So, boys, take the hint from Cole LaBrant.

Pursue that girl (or guy), even if she lives on the other side of the country. Put the relationship into God's hands, and He will guide you in the right direction.

The Bible also tells us to stay pure in our relationships until marriage.

For many, it can be very hard to keep this commitment to purity because everyone around us is saying to do the exact opposite.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins inside their own body. Do you not know your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies."

This verse does not condemn us for what we have done in the past. If you've had sex in the past, know that it is okay.

Even if you knew Jesus at the time, know that it is okay, because we serve a God of forgiveness and love. He knows that we are not perfect humans and that we are bound to mess up from time to time. So, do not judge yourself or others for what you have done in the past. The only thing you can do is to move forward with your eyes on Jesus.

Cole and Savannah have been very open about the ups and downs of their relationship on their YouTube channel, and also in their new book. They realize their relationship isn't perfect, and it gives us hope that our relationships don't need to be picture perfect either. If you slip up in your relationship, talk through it in open honesty, and move forward.

Image Credit: Cole and Savannah LaBrant on YouTube

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I Can Hate The Player And I Can Hate The Game

Watch the game you play ...

175
views

I have ONE simple question...Why!?!?

Why drag me along for the ride, if you knew this was going to be the way it was going to end? Are satisfied with the end result? Were you at least able to get something out of this? You act and put out the vibe of a sweet talker, the guy with a charming smiling,silly me for thinking a sweet guy would stay.

I mean you were constantly telling me how you were scared to loose me and that you weren't going anywhere, actually thought i could trust that when my *boyfriend* told me that, but no now i sit here wondering what could i have done to keep him? Did I actually make him happy or was it something that I did? When in all honesty it wasn't me... It was his own selfish prerogative, he knew he wasn't happy and carried on as if everything was ok. Leaving me to believe everything was perfectly fine... When sadly I was wrong.

I mean its 2018, Relationships don't really seem to have a true meaning, I really shouldn't have expected much but I mean, a girl can dream cant she? There is something to be said about being honest with yourself and with your significant other. If you get the feeling something is off, or you plan and simple, just are not feeling it OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SAY SOMETHING! Don't just sit there and let it go on, for someones feelings to get stronger for you and for you to just leave them there having to ask themselves where did this come from? and how could they not have seen this coming?

Just so you know for the future, and to save another girl from a heartbreak don't just be honest with yourself but be honest with her too, trust me the earlier you realize your feelings the better.

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