I wish I knew how to put all my feelings together to explain to you the feeling I get every time I see you.

I wish I knew how to explain to you the butterflies I get - like a middle school crush - when I'm cuddled up next to you. When I hear your name I get a genuine content feeling knowing that I will have you by my side going through this crazy thing we call life.

I'll be honest with you... I have thought about walking away to avoid the chance of getting my heart broken because I have been hurt one too many times. But, then again, I guess so has everyone else. I know you have gone through your share of experiences that really have made you who you are today. The trust issues you carry with you from past relationships... I get it because I have been there.

I look at you and I see someone I could potentially spend my future with. I look at you and I see someone who has for some reason come into my life and affected it in the most positive way someone could. I didn't know at 18 years old I would still get that butterfly feeling when you ask to spend time with me or I get the "good morning beautiful" text. I want to fall in love with you - head over heels in love with you. I want to be able to trust that you will catch me when I do fall. I want to do all the corny stuff couples do. I want to go apple picking and I want to go on cute dates. I want it all with you. I want nights where we spend it hanging out in our PJs, and then we get McDonald's and pig out. I want to know every part of you, every raw part of you. I want to love everything you don't like about yourself. I know there will be days where everything you say will make me want to scream but when I sit back, I realize I couldn't lose you. You have become a part of my everyday routine. I love waking up knowing I'll learn a little bit more about you today and I'll fall for you. I'll fall harder every time.

I miss you when I'm not with you.

I could not care less if we were watching Netflix for 12 hours straight because knowing you are there by my side is such a secure feeling. I love waking up next to you and being able to crawl on top of you and kiss you until you wake up. I know I am too much sometimes. I know I overthink every little thing. I know I'll question everything and you could tell me the same answer 300 times and I still won't believe it. I know how hard I am to deal with.

I think about you every day.

The moments when I'm with you are so sweet and so genuine that I find myself already missing it while I'm still in the moment. I know that there is the possibility of losing you and it scares the living hell out of me. I wish you could feel like the feeling I get when I see you. I still get that crazy rush when you send something that would make me get all giggly inside. I don't know why, but I constantly question everything good that happens. It usually results in me losing something before it even starts. I think it's because in my life I've always been the one to care so much. I care way too much and it's unhealthy. I constantly want to talk to you so I always think of what I'm going to say next before the time comes. Why will it hurt so bad when I hear the song you sent me? I know it is going to ache. My heart will physically ache when I hear our song, but I'll listen to it and then I won't stop listening to it for the rest of the night. Sometimes I drive and I get so lost in my thoughts. I get so deep into them - deeper than some people I think would be able to understand. But, when you find someone that can relate and understand your thoughts, it's like a connection you won't be able to describe.

Have you ever been told, "You're just different?" It's because somehow, someway, you have made them feel like no one else has. Think about that. You are so different. Humans know when something feels like it never has before... That's why it's different to us. I know I am going to say things that will make you question why you're with me... But I promise I'm worth it, so please stay. I've gone through things I don't talk about; things that have shaped my mindset into the way it is today... But I promise it's worth it to stick around. I know I'm going to stay and never leave.

I don't leave people because my heart has been ripped out and stomped on by people who haven't even looked back and realized how bad it hurt me. I broke a couple times in my life. I felt everything and nothing all at the same time. I felt so weak but so strong at the same time. I guess I wonder why God keeps throwing things at me - sometimes I feel like I'm drowning - drowning in my own thoughts. You are going to become my everything... My favorite hello and my hardest goodbye. You are going to make so many memories with me and I am going to look back on them and feel nothing but a sense of comfort. You are becoming my rock. It scares me so much because I hate depending on anyone but myself. I learned early in life that all you have is yourself.

So, since then, I haven't fully counted on anyone. People always leave. I guess for some reason it's just easy to walk away like I meant nothing. Most people don't look back but then I think I can't blame them. The only hope I have is knowing one day, when I least expect it, someone is going to come along and never make me question life or me or anything. It will all feel so real, so genuine. I can't wait to have that person. I hope it's you. I hope so badly it's you.

I promise you that I will be worth the frustrated nights.

I will be worth all of it. Just stick around, please. Prove me wrong and show me that people can stay. I told you that you were different - please don't make me take it back. I want to explore the world with you and I want to love you in ways I've never loved somebody. I want to learn to love things because you love them. I want to give my entire self to you and I hope you do the same. I hope I give you the same feeling you give me. I promise you that I will be worth all the crappy days and weeks.

Don't leave. Please, just don't leave.