Fraternity men are a challenge to figure out sometimes. Luckily, God made pasta so that I could make elaborately stretched connections between my two favorite things: boys and carbs.
The Jock - Spaghetti:
The most common noodle/frat boy, it's important to get that carbo-load before hitting the weight room.
The Prep - Farfalle:
To match their vineyard vines bow ties. Only taken out on special occasions and for aesthetically pleasing Instagram pics.
The Einstein - Lasagne:
Because whoever was smart enough to layer noodles with meat and cheese to make a noodle cake was a genius.
The Redneck - Route:
Pasta that's shaped like a truck wheel. Enough said.
The Drunk - Elbow Noodle:
Both these noodles and these men will be found in a Kraft mac n cheese box at the end of the night.
The Groupie - Vermicelli
The Poster Boy - Campanella:
They look like the roses you wish this brother would give you on a Frat version of the Bachelor.
The Nice-Guy - Orzo:
The pasta you mistake for rice, and the frat boy you mistake for a freshman.
The 10-Year Senior- Angel Hair:
The veil between the pasta heavens and the Earth are just as thin as the hair on these brothers' balding heads.
