Find Your Identity In God, Not Guys

Find Your Identity In God, Not Guys

You don't need a guy to define your life, or anyone for that matter!


As a student here at Texas A&M;, I sometimes feel like I'm more observant than I should be of other people and their situations. One of the common things I notice is girls going crazy over guys. I understand the occasional crush (or even fling for that matter), but this is different. I watch girl after girl go through guy after guy, seeking attention and love and affection, most of the times through sexual means, and it never works out in the end.

As a person who has been single for the entirety of her life, I've never really understood the need for a boyfriend. Sure, I would like one, but I don't need one to survive. But a lot of other people seem to need a boyfriend to get out of bed each morning. It breaks my heart. However, there is someone I know who can offer you everything you're looking for in a boyfriend, who won't break your heart. Ever. Are you interested??

Good. His name is Jesus. Here's why you should be chasing Him, not guys!

He will always love you.

Our most natural human desire is the desire to be loved. We seek love from our parents, our friends, even people we don't know. We crave attention and affection. The urge to seek love is also normal. We are structured to search for love. However, a lot of people get confused and search for love in all the wrong places. They seek love through men, money, sex, drugs, alcohol, you name it. I have watched girls go home with a different guy, every night, just so she feels like she's cared for. For even just a little while.

But what if I told you there was a guy who would always love you? Someone who will never leave you, or hurt you? Someone who can be your hero. His name is Jesus.

Now I know you may be thinking that I'm crazy and that there is no proof of His love for you. Jesus actually wrote us a love letter, the Bible, which was scribed through a few chosen people who could tell His love for you. We all love a good love letter, especially long ones. Here are some examples of God's love for you:

"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness." - Jeremiah 31:3

"Cast all your anxiety on Him who cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because He first loved us." - 1 John 4:18-19

He will always be with you.

We all long for a boyfriend who always wants to be with us. We want to be around them all the time, and do everything with them!! We crave and long for that attention, where someone wants to spend lengths of time with us. I don't know why, but it's meaningful. But oftentimes, we find ourselves in dead-end relationships where we're the main source of holding everything together, planning every outing, and continually being the one who asks to hang out.

It comes across as desperate, and most guys don't like it. Men have an innate need to chase girls. They want to be the one to seek you out and to ask you out. Sometimes they need a little hint, but if you're the only one who's ever initiating, he probably isn't that interested. However, Jesus doesn't care how often you call. He doesn't care how much time you spend with him, the more the better! Jesus loves being with you! Here are some examples of Him never leaving your side:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

"And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." - Matthew 28:20

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will never leave you or forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

He will never forsake you.

What does forsake really even mean anyway? God uses this word a lot in the Bible, but do you really know what it means? The best definition for the word is abandon. How many of you have been abandoned by a boy? Cheated on? Ghosted by? Left behind? I certainly have. I can tell you, first hand, that it's one of the worst feelings in the world. I've dealt with all three, up close and personal. And it hurts. There is nothing wrong with being hurt over what has happened to you. But then I realized I had a God who loved me 10 million times more. A God who promises me that He will never leave me, cheat on me, ghost me, leave me behind. No, He remains steadfast. Here are some examples of God remaining true to you:

"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." - Deuteronomy 31:8

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you." - Isaiah 41:10

"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you." - Isaiah 43:4-5

He will protect you, strengthen you, and build you.

In a relationship, the man is usually the protector. We as girls long for someone to fortify us, and protect us from harm. We also yearn for someone who will make us stronger (hopefully in faith), and someone who builds us up to feel better about who we are as individuals. Some of these traits can go both ways, where the girl can also build up the boy, where iron sharpens iron. However, often times, we can get torn down by a significant other, where they are passive, and don't take the time to care about us, or they are abusive, where they purposely hurt you to make you feel lesser about yourself.

In either situation, we tend to make excuses for our significant other, such as "Oh he'll take me out someday" or "The abuse isn't that bad". Stop. Stop making excuses. Start making changes. Trust in Jesus who loves you more than anyone else in the whole wide world. Here are some examples of Jesus and how He protects you and builds you:

"But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." - Psalm 86:15

"But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me, and that all the Gentiles might hear. Also, I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion. And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory forever and ever. Amen!" - 2 Timothy 4:17-18

"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name." Psalm 91:14

So, instead of chasing after boys, chase after God, who loves you more than anyone else could. He's the best you could ever have.



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A Letter From God To Help You Finish The Semester

God sees your struggles and He's here to give you strength and motivation.

My Child,

The lack of motivation towards the end of the semester is normal. You are mentally and physically tired, but you are almost at the end. Don’t stop walking down the perfect path I have for you. When you’re going along and you come upon a speedbump, I want you to go over it and keep driving. The paper you have to write and the test you have to study for are just small speedbumps I have given you to make you wiser. You can write that paper and you can gain motivation to study for that test. I am here to give you strength, and am here to open up your mind and give you motivation.

You are so loved. You have such a beautiful mind. The light of Jesus shines through your eyes and your smile brings comfort to the world. There’ll be times you feel like you’re carrying a heavy load. There’ll be times you feel like the task I have given you is impossible to perform. But remember this: I would never put anything upon your shoulders that you cannot carry. If I put you in a certain situation, it’s because I know you are strong enough to go through it.

When you feel like crying, cry to me. When you feel like a failure, remember how much I love you. You are not a failure and you are not going to give up. I will hold your hand through every second of your life. I will seek your heart through your darkest moments. I see you, I see your heart, and I see your burdens. And remember that I have your heart which means I also have your burdens. Follow my footsteps and you will be free from the doubt. Remember Mark 4:40-41: “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” I have the power to calm any storm and wave. I have the power to calm YOUR storms and waves. Set your doubt, anger, and tiredness in my hands and simply be patient.

Romans 8:14-15 says,“For those who are led by the spirit of God are the children of God. The spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again, rather the spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.” Nothing can separate you from my love. Not even your lack of motivation. You have no motivation because you do not feel good enough. You are more than good enough. You were perfectly made by me and when I look down at you, I think of how proud I am of your heart.

Throughout the last few weeks of this semester, you will stumble upon speedbumps. But hold the hand of my son Jesus and you will be able to go over that speedbump with ease. Go write that paper, go study for that test, and go get an A in that class. I know you can because I have given you power.



Cover Image Credit: Margaret Carnes

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The Notre Dame Cathedral–Such A Loss Of History And Beauty, But What A Gift It Was To Experience It

Reid shares her story as she is saddened for Paris and the church.


After the massive fire that devastated large parts of the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, the 850-year-old cathedral's spire fell. French President Emmanuel Macron addressed the nation to share in the nation's sorrow but gave hope for the future. This includes the rebuilding of the cathedral together and making it more beautiful than ever. "The fire of Notre Dame reminds us that our story never ends. And that we will always have challenges to overcome. What we believe to be indestructible can also be touched," Macron said.

Tyler Reid

Among many others, Tyler Reid is saddened for Paris and the church. Although, she counts herself blessed to have seen it such a short time before it was destroyed. Reid, who was lucky enough to visit the amazing structure this past spring break, remarked:

My trip was filled with so many wonderful sites. Although, because Notre Dame carries the title of most-visited monument in Europe, my expectations were high. When I first walked up, there isn't one specific feeling I got; instead, it was more of a million thoughts running though my head. Once inside, looking at the massive stained glass windows combined with all the details in every crevice, it was hard for me to imagine people actually building this without the technology we have today. This hand crafted masterpiece really is so influential considering people still went there to worship, even after so much time has past and so many other cathedrals had been built. This proves how special the Notre Dame Cathedral really is. Due to my experience here, hearing about the fire hurt my heart, especially thinking about how some of the irreplaceable artworks and all of this history may be gone. This place truly influenced people, including me, and for it to be gone is a true tragedy.

Like Macron, Reid shares in the sorrow; although, for her, it was just from one visit. This proves the amazing impact the Notre Dame Cathedral had and hopefully will continue to have even after this devastation.

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