I Spent Most Of My Childhood Obsessing Over My Hair

I Spent Most Of My Childhood Obsessing Over My Hair

How a terrible haircut grew into a shallow obsession with deep roots (pun intended).

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I spent seven years of my life dreading every haircut. I spent seven years asking my hairdressers for "just a tiny trim off the tips". I would cringe anytime a class craft called for using scissors, terrified that someone would somehow miss their paper and chop off a chunk of my locks. I was ridiculously paranoid, even afraid that someone would try to sabotage me by attacking my hair (which, by the way, was not altogether delusional as one of my friends confessed to me last year that in middle school she did make a plot to put Nair in my shampoo. I'm talking to you, Anna Jones). Ever since a dreadful haircut in fourth grade, I was traumatized.

Little Laurel at her 13th birthday, with a big yellow flower on top of her head. Laurel Hecht

I knew, deep down, that this fear was pretty frivolous and shallow. It was ridiculous for me to place such importance on the state of my hair. It still sounds ridiculous when I think back to those feelings. But they were really intense feelings. Feeling really embarrassed when my fourth-grade friends wore their hair in braids or pigtails and mine couldn't reach anymore. Feeling like I had lost all girly-ness and beauty just because my hair wasn't long and flowing.

When I first cut my hair into that tragic, and (now) laughable style, my feelings of being less pretty translated into feeling less valuable. Somehow, losing ten inches of hair caused my worth to plummet.

By high school, my hair was down to my hips. I was not really afraid of getting it cut anymore, but it had just become a part of my identity. I was known for my long hair. I am a relatively reserved person, I don't like attention in unknown situations or when I'm in big groups. I tend to lay pretty low. My hair became a source of comfort, almost like I was hiding behind long, dark curtains of hair.

Anyways, I realized this weird strategy and attachment to my hair that developed and started planning out a time to chop my hair off during my junior year. The horrible haircut was years ago when I was but a child. It was time to get over myself and just cut off my hair, conquer my fears and move on.

We love a good freshman year car selfie, proudly showing off the long hair and braces.Laurel Hecht

I told myself that when I got my braces off, THAT is when I will finally get over this whole hair thing and will chop my hair off and lose the metal teeth, and emerge a woman. However, the braces came and went, and I told myself it just wasn't a good time.

Then, I said I would cut my hair short right before college. I would graduate from high school, move out of my house, chop off my hair and emerge a new woman!! However, graduation came and went and next thing I knew I was a freshman in college still clinging to the comfort of my long hair.

An evolved senior year car selfie, but still a car selfie nonetheless. Laurel Hecht

Basically, I kept putting it off. I was older and knew very well that I had so much more worth than just my dumb looks. Still, though, deep down, I was scared that I would cut off two feet of hair just to be left feeling like the sad, shy nine-year-old again. I kept planning then putting off my big haircut until this dramatic saga finally came to an end with a random haircut in Europe.

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20 Small Tattoos With Big Meanings

Tattoos with meaning you can't deny.
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It's tough to find perfect tattoos with meaning.

You probably want something permanent on your body to mean something deeply, but how do you choose a tattoo that will still be significant in 5, 10, 15, or 50 years? Over time, tattoos have lost much of their stigma and many people consider them a form of art, but it's still possible to get a tattoo you regret.

So here are 20 tattoos you can't go wrong with. Each tattoo has its own unique meaning, but don't blame me if you still have to deal with questions that everyone with a tattoo is tired of hearing!

SEE RELATED: "Please Stop Asking What My Tattoos Mean"

1. A semi-colon indicates a pause in a sentence but does not end. Sometimes it seems like you may have stopped, but you choose to continue on.


2. "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."


3. Top symbol: unclosed delta symbol which represents open to change. Bottom symbol: strategy.


4. "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls."


5. Viking symbol meaning "create your own reality."


6.Greek symbol of Inguz: where there's a will, there's a way.

7. Psalm 18:33 "He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights."


8. 'Ohm' tattoo that represents 4 different states of consciousness and a world of illusion: waking (jagrat), dreaming (swapna), deep sleep (sushupti), transcendental state (turiya) and world of illusion (maya)


9. Alchemy: symbolizes copper, means love, balance, feminine beauty and artistic creativity.


10. The Greek word “Meraki" means to do something with soul, passion, love and creativity or to put yourself in to whatever you do.


11. Malin (Skövde, Sweden) – you have to face setbacks to be able to go forward.

12. Symbol meaning "thief" from the Hobbit. It was the rune Gandalf etched into Bilbo's door so the dwarves could find his house.


13. “Lux in tenebris" means “light in darkness."

14. Anchor Tattoo: symbolizing strength & stability, something (or someone) who holds you in place, and provides you the strength to hold on no matter how rough things get.

15."Ad Maiora" is translated literally as “Towards greater things." It is a formula of greeting used to wish more success in life, career or love.


16. A glyphs means “explore." It was meant as a reminder for me to never stop exploring.

17. "Aut inveniam viam aut faciam," meaning roughly, "Either I shall find a way, or I will make one."


18. Lotus Flower. It grows in muddy water, and it is this environment that gives forth the flower's first and most literal meaning: rising and blooming above the murk to achieve enlightenment.

19. The zen (or ensō) circle to me represents enlightenment, the universe & the strength we all have inside of us.

20. Two meanings. The moon affirms life. It looks as if it is constantly changing. Can reminds us of the inconsistency of life. It is also symbolizes the continuous circular nature of time and even karma.


SEE ALSO: Sorry That You're Offended, But I Won't Apologize For My Tattoos


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Ladies, You Don't Have To Dress Up For Class

Whoever says you do is just mad that they spent two hours getting ready for a 50 minute class.

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I couldn't help but notice a stream of articles saying women HAVE to 'dress up' for class. I'm here to say you don't. Why should you have to dress up for class when your schedule is filled to the brim with papers and extracurriculars and five classes that you need to study for. It is incredibly easy to throw on leggings, a t-shirt, and sneakers.

Anyone who says that jeans are more comfortable than leggings are LYING to themselves. That also goes for heels vs. sneakers. If I'm going to be sitting in one spot for an extended period of time, I want to be comfortable. I don't want to be in jeans and necklaces and a gazillion annoying bracelets when I could be in shorts and a t-shirt.

Some girls really like dressing up for class, and that is great for them. But it's not great when women start hating on other women for looking comfortable in class. Give it up Becky, you're just mad that I spent 20 minutes getting ready and you spent 120. Chad from theta beta zeta phi is probably taking notes from the slides, not on which girls are dressing up.

Some people will say that dressing up for class prepares you for the 'real world.' This is the real world. College is the real world. I'll look nice for my future job when I get to my future job. Wearing t-shirts and leggings a couple days a week while I'm in college has ZERO effect on my future job. Listening in class does. And guess what, I can't listen if I'm tired because I spent 4 1/2 hours getting ready!!! (Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but come on people.)

I'll wear what I want to wear. You can wear whatever you want to wear. I'll compliment your shirt, you'll compliment my sneakers, and we will both continue on happily doing our own thing.

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