Moving on - two words that can change everything in a person’s life. Moving on can take on multiple meanings, and each is as scary and intimidating as the next.
Moving on can apply to many situations. Moving on from a relationship, a major, a friend, a crush, a job, etc. There comes a time in everyone’s life where they need to suck it up, face the facts, and realize the time has come to move on.
I have had several instances in my life where I have had to make the decision to move on. Each time I made the decision to move on, I did not see why I had to, or why I needed to at the given time. However, in the end, it made me a better person, and was a necessary thing to do. I experienced childlike emotions, have been consumed with depression, and basically went through my own personal “5 Steps” to get through moving on in different situations of my life.
I have had to move on from several different friends, due to not realizing that the friendship was damaging to my self-esteem and/or reputation. I had to move on from my dream career of singing because I realized I can still sing as hobby, and I definitely did not want to be waitressing in New York waiting the next job opportunity my entire life. I have had to move on from relationships because the person treated me like shit and caused me so much emotional pain, that it was unbearable. And of course, I did not realize this at the time. Moving on takes maturity, and is honestly one of the hardest things to do.
In order to get through moving on from something incredibly life changing and difficult, you need a proper support system. Without someone or something (not physically or emotionally abusive) keeping you afloat, you will sink and spiral downward into the situation you were working on getting out of in the first place.
If you are anything like me, I am a loner. I can be alone for days, be extremely depressed, but feel in my heart that whatever I am going through, I can handle myself. This is a terrible idea. I still do this, and can never move on from any situation that is extremely emotionally damaging. I am so prideful that I refuse to reach out to other people. If you are like me, get over this. There is always someone to share your feelings with, talk you through it, and just be the words of wisdom you need, in a moment of need.
As I mentioned earlier, it is also difficult to come to terms with the fact that you do need to move on. For a great example, lets use a relationship. You are in a relationship with a boy that treats you like shit. He sends you mixed signals, never texts/calls you, is seeing other women, and is choosing friends over you at almost every instance where he could've chosen you. Clearly, no one deserves this. You however, continue to make-up excuses for him. Here are some examples of excuses: “He told me he loves me”. “He told me he couldn’t wait to see me”. “He says that I was the best thing that has ever happened to him”. “He wishes he could text me more, but he works all the time”. The list can go on and on. The excuses are fogging up your judgment – you need to move on. The first step in realizing that you need to move on is that you are continuously making excuses.
Second, you do need to go through a contradictory period with yourself. A type of self-reflection period. This is where you have realized that execution needs to take place, but you are not sure how to execute it, or you are too depressed to do anything. For example, he was so excited to see you and talk to you, but he hasn’t even attempted to make contact with you for a week. This is the time where you need to do whatever you can to come to terms with the fact that moving on is inevitable, and you owe it to yourself.
Once you move on from your phase of depression and self-reflection, you need to execute a plan of action, and take control of your life – move on. That man has been hurting you time after time when all you do is devote your time and energy to him. He just continuously throws you under the bus. Throw his ass off your bus, and get unhitched.
Okay, you have done the most difficult thing that there is to do – you have quit the job, cut ties with a relative, quit smoking, or cut off a relationship. You have conquered one of the most difficult things to do.
Once you have executed the plan, everything should start to feel easier, and you can get your life back. Go find a new job that is best for you, attend AA meetings after you moved on from damaging drinking, and find another man that actually realizes how important you are. This is the period where you should feel like a rock star. You finally have control over the life that has been in the hands of a substance, person, or career that has been dragging you down for far too long. You have gained the courage to end it, and that means that your self-esteem is at an all time high.
Congratulations. At this time, you have found a place in your life that is comfortable again. You have beaten the problem, faced your deepest fears, and moved on. You cut ties from the poison. You are no longer a victim to the thing that damaged everything you are, and the person you are. Again, congratulations to you.
Well, here is some help to get through a situation in which you are moving on. I am currently in a “moving on” situation myself, and I’m currently in the sad stage. I’m sure once I start opening up and start talking to someone, I can move through the rest of the steps, and actually take my own advice. I hope this helps anyone who is having a hard time realizing that it is just simply time, to move on.
