Back in my younger years, I had a pretty consistent repertoire of TV shows that I stuck to because it was essentially all I knew. You know the classics like  Spongebob, Rugrats, Rocket Power, etc.  Things have changed, and that was back in the day (which was a Wednesday, by the way) and I wasn’t quite mature enough to appreciate the humor of sitcoms.

As I grew up, I started widening my television horizons with more mature classics like Even Stevens and Boy Meets World.  It was that time when I caught the latter portions of TV Guide’s 21st best TV show of all time – Friends. I didn’t always understand some of the jokes and innuendos made that would crack up my mother. Besides, I had another reason to watch it. It was from that moment on when my love for Rachel Green (Jennifer Anniston) was undoubtedly for real.

Now some of you may ask, “Why do you still obsess over a fictional character from a TV show that has been off the air for over a decade?” 

My answer: Shut up. You take that back. Even to this day, Anniston's still got it, that's no question.  But back when she was in her prime on NBC for ten years? Dear Lord. I will gladly tune in to TBS Monday thru Friday from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. to see her grace by 52” mounted-flat screen (thanks, Bankier). And for those of you that aren’t on Netflix, you’re welcome.

Before I continue getting more into detail about my infatuation, I have to admit something. I was, and still am, jealous of Ross Geller. It’s really unfortunate because quite honestly, Ross is probably the least favorite of the Friends crew. He always complained, was obnoxious and a boring paleontologist.

*Quick homage to an episode about Joey Tribbiani filling out Ross’ medical form*

“Occupation: Dinosaurs.” “Actually I’m a pealon-...dinosaurs is fine.”

I’m jealous because he had his time with Rach while I got nothing. It was like a tease, and I was left to wonder, “Why not me? Age is but a number, and he’s a fool.”

With the topic of age in mind, I like to think I’ve still got a chance. Realistically, I don’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell because the real actress behind the character is almost 46 and has a fiancé. But the character? Rachel Green? 

When the show first aired, Anniston portrayed a woman in her mid-20s. I’m a 21-year-old gentleman, standing at a staggering 5’10”. I think I deserve a shot. It’s as if she just finished college, and am a lost freshman stepping onto campus for the first time. And like that lost freshman, I’d find my way. I’d find my way to her heart.

Once time travel finally becomes a real thing, I’ll take a trip back to 1993 when casting for the show was taking place, and I’ll make sure David Schwimmer doesn’t get casted for Ross. At the very least, I’ll go for Joey or Chandler Bing and make the writers change the script to let me be the one that gets her in the beginning and the end.