Like the wind, the memories come and go. It's not that I want to think about you, because I don't. It's like a kaleidoscope of memories; it just all comes back. But you never do. It's also not that I want you to come back either. I know our separation is for the best, but I can't help but remember how simple things were when we were together. Therefore, this is me stating that I do not want you to come back. This is also me saying that I am no longer resentful of you. This is me saying that I hope you get all you want in life. I hope you see the sun as bright as I used to see it when I was with you. And I hope you cherish the silence with your new person, like I used to with you. I hope your heart is no longer filled with worry and anxiety, like our hearts were when we were together. I hope you sing songs and dance in the car late at night with your new person, like we once did. I hope a many thing for you, but the one thing I hope the most, is that you never have to sit up for many nights wondering where you went wrong. That, my friend, is the worst feeling ever.

What we had was great for a while, I wouldn't trade those years for anything. However, this is for the best; at least that's what my friends tell me. I believe what they say, this is for the best. I have blossomed finally. You would be so proud of me. I made new friends, met a new guy, tried many new things I would've never done before because of you. You held me back. You made me feel like I could reach the sky, not the stars. You made sure I stayed humble with my dreams, but they aren't your dreams, they're mine. You always told me right from wrong, but who's to say you don't know wrong from, right?

To the girl reading this that is heartbroken: Let yourself be sad, let yourself be a mess. But promise yourself that you'll just try a little harder each day. That's all you can do. Take it day by day. You'll learn things about yourself you didn't know, you'll learn that all this time maybe you deserved more. A beautiful thing happens when you give your heart time to heal itself. You become you again. You find happiness again, and when you do, you know it's because of how far you've come when you thought you'd lost all hope. And if that's not something to look forward to, then I don't know what it.

As Daniell Koepke said, "Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren't inherently bad people, but they aren't the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can't destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful- you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself."

So, I choose instead to let you go completely and gracefully. You gave me so much that I couldn't have gotten from what I wanted. You shone a light on all the parts of myself that I needed to heal. You woke me up to the difference between someone who says all the right things and some who actually does them. You showed me clear as day how to find out if someone has my best interest at heart by having demonstrated firsthand the exact opposite of that. You laughed about how much younger I was, but I honestly don't think I have ever aged so quickly as I did when we said goodbye.

I understand now that I needed you to leave. I needed you to abandon me so I could learn that the sky isn't always beautiful shades of light blue, but also the deepest shades of black. Although you are gone, you are still here with me, as much as I hate to admit that. You're with me when the aches and pains return in the place where my heart used to beat. You're with me when I close my eyes at night and see you staring back. You're with me when your laugh won't evade my mind, but all of this has made me stronger.