Hey, I know I told you this wouldn't happen. But it did, and I'm sorry it's going to hurt you, but I can't keep it a secret anymore.
I've found someone new, and he is incredible. We don't have the type of relationship you and I had. It's so completely different. You and I dated for marriage (well, we see how that turned out). He and I aren't ready for a serious commitment, and it's so refreshing. It is so refreshing to have a fun and open relationship with an amazing guy—a guy who doesn't belittle me and doesn't put me down every time I do something wrong, a guy I can have fun with and talk about anything with.
I'll admit, sometimes it's hard. It's hard to be with someone new. Because, after all, you and I dated for three years, and it's hard to adapt to life without the person you shared your life with for three years.
I trusted him right off the bat, isn't that funny? How I couldn't trust you for the three years we dated but I knew this guy for not even a week and I just knew I could trust him?
I'm not comparing you to him because it's unfair to both of you. Because you are both two completely different people. But while I've been with him, I've just been thinking about how crazy different everything is.
I love seeing him. Whether it's just in our class and he sends me texts to try and make me laugh, or for two seconds in the commons, or for an entire night—I just always have so much fun with him. He makes me laugh so much differently. I mean, he heard my real laugh like five days after I met him. Not just my little giggle I give because you and I both know I laugh at everything, but he heard my loud and obnoxiously embarrassing cackle. (And he thought it was cute!)
We don't hold hands when we walk together. We don't talk all the time when we are with each other. We don't text constantly throughout the day. We don't go out to parties together on the weekends.
We share two completely different lives but we do it together, still, somehow.
I'm not dating him for marriage, but I sure am falling for him. Not like, falling in love type of falling. But just like, "Wow, this boy is incredible and shows me that every day."
I am sorry. I'm sorry you weren't my soulmate and that you aren't the person I'm going to end up with. It actually breaks my heart some days when I realize I won't be growing old with you. But I couldn't fathom being with someone that didn't love me for who I am. Even when I changed, you were still supposed to love me and you couldn't do that. I'm sorry I couldn't trust you. I'm sorry you thought I was crazy and annoying. But I found this guy, on a random Tuesday in my last class of the day, because he complimented my Filas, and I am so incredibly blessed that I did. Because, even though it's not for a future, he's giving me the best damn semester this year.
I'm happy. And I want you to be happy too. But it's going to have to be without each other.
Thank you for some of the best three years of my life, but I found someone new, and he's freaking amazing.