I Failed At Taking My Life And I Got A Chance To Start Over
Start writing a post
Student Life

I Failed At Taking My Own Life And That Gave Me A Chance To Start A New One

I'm happy I failed.

457
I Failed At Taking My Own Life And That Gave Me A Chance To Start A New One
Laura Wright

Content Warning: suicide and depression.

I've been debating writing this for a while, but I think I am finally strong enough to tell my story.

I am Laura, and I suffer from Depression.

For the last 6 years, my life hasn't been just rainbows and butterflies. It's been seeing grey and stormy nights. I know I'm not alone, but at my worst, I tried to take my life.

I just couldn't live with myself. I felt like all I was doing was taking up a large amount of space in what seemed like a small world. And this wouldn't happen once over the 6 years, it would happen at least 3 other times. It makes you feel so awful. The thoughts come and go like that friend you know is a bad influence, but welcome in every time it's around.

You don't realize how bad it is till you are in the hospital because you failed at something that would have torn everything apart. To have to watch your family just look at you with sadness in their eyes. It tares you apart, it makes you wonder how you could be so selfish? To feel so weak lying there in a room surrounded by four white walls, knowing there is a nurse outside the door getting paid to babysit you, in hopes you don't do more damage to yourself or others while in such a vulnerable state.

Here's how you become selfish, you begin to think the worst of everything. They have other daughters they don't need me. School starts to slip because your at wits end and want to just give up. All you do is want to sleep because you are tired of everything. You push people away because you don't want them to see how much pain you are really in, and with that, you start to feel lonely just slowly pulling you into the darkness.

But there is hope.

With the right support system, you will start to regain your life back and feel like the chains are finally gone and see how good life actually is. You can go on vacations, spend time with friends & family, and just live freely. I'm not saying you're not going to have bad days because we are human and it's bound to happen but the best we can do is learn for what has happened.

From what I know now that are so many more reasons to stay than to cave to the darkness. Your future is so bright and you don't even know it yet. So much to do and see and potential to uncover. And if you need someone I will be that someone, but please don't keep this to yourself.

Just remember suicide is permanent for your temporary pain.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Haunted Houses For Halloween In New Jersey

The Top Scariest Haunted Houses In New Jersey

36071

Residing in New Jersey enables you to participate in various activities, and everyone has a favorite. In New Jersey, Halloween is also celebrated in a spooky way. There are many scariest haunted houses in NJ to celebrate Halloween. If you want to confront your greatest fears, Halloween Scariest haunted houses are ideal.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Leaving My Backpack In The Library

Views about society and the stranger sitting right across from me

73491
https://unsplash.com/photos/O0T1SIgHAfM

As a college student, my backpack is an extension of myself in many ways. It contains my notes, pens, and computer vital for my success in college. It contains the snacks and water bottle I need to survive long days on campus. It also contains the "in-case" items that help put my mind at rest if I forgot something from home: extra hair ties, masks, and that backup-backup snack. With so much in my backpack important to me and my life on campus, it is no wonder that I can get apprehensive about it when it is not with me or in my line of sight. And that makes me wonder.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

5 Cool Gadgets To Make Your Car Smart

Don't let this stop you from making your car smart. You can change the one you have using smart gadgets that transform your car into a smart car.

123104

Cars are no longer just a mode of transport, where you only worry about the engine and how beautiful its interior is. These days, everyone wants to make their cars smarter, those with advanced technology systems. It makes sense for several reasons. It can make your vehicle more efficient and safer when you need to drive.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Inevitable Truth of Loss

You're going to be okay.

137281

As we humans face loss and grief on a daily basis, it's challenging to see the good in all the change. Here's a better perspective on how we can deal with this inevitable feeling and why it could help us grow.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

'Venom: Let There Be Carnage' Film Review

Tom Hardy and Woody Harrelson lead a tigher, more fun sequel to 2018's 'Venom'

108001
Photo Credit: Sony Pictures Entertainment – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FmWuCgJmxo

When Sony announced that Venom would be getting a stand-alone movie, outside of the Tom Holland MCU Spider-Man films, and intended to start its own separate shared universe of films, the reactions were generally not that kind. Even if Tom Hardy was going to take on the role, why would you take Venom, so intrinsically connected to Spider-Man's comic book roots, and remove all of that for cheap action spectacle?

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments