I Failed At Taking My Life And I Got A Chance To Start Over
Start writing a post
Student Life

I Failed At Taking My Own Life And That Gave Me A Chance To Start A New One

I'm happy I failed.

I Failed At Taking My Own Life And That Gave Me A Chance To Start A New One
Laura Wright

Content Warning: suicide and depression.

I've been debating writing this for a while, but I think I am finally strong enough to tell my story.

I am Laura, and I suffer from Depression.

For the last 6 years, my life hasn't been just rainbows and butterflies. It's been seeing grey and stormy nights. I know I'm not alone, but at my worst, I tried to take my life.

I just couldn't live with myself. I felt like all I was doing was taking up a large amount of space in what seemed like a small world. And this wouldn't happen once over the 6 years, it would happen at least 3 other times. It makes you feel so awful. The thoughts come and go like that friend you know is a bad influence, but welcome in every time it's around.

You don't realize how bad it is till you are in the hospital because you failed at something that would have torn everything apart. To have to watch your family just look at you with sadness in their eyes. It tares you apart, it makes you wonder how you could be so selfish? To feel so weak lying there in a room surrounded by four white walls, knowing there is a nurse outside the door getting paid to babysit you, in hopes you don't do more damage to yourself or others while in such a vulnerable state.

Here's how you become selfish, you begin to think the worst of everything. They have other daughters they don't need me. School starts to slip because your at wits end and want to just give up. All you do is want to sleep because you are tired of everything. You push people away because you don't want them to see how much pain you are really in, and with that, you start to feel lonely just slowly pulling you into the darkness.

But there is hope.

With the right support system, you will start to regain your life back and feel like the chains are finally gone and see how good life actually is. You can go on vacations, spend time with friends & family, and just live freely. I'm not saying you're not going to have bad days because we are human and it's bound to happen but the best we can do is learn for what has happened.

From what I know now that are so many more reasons to stay than to cave to the darkness. Your future is so bright and you don't even know it yet. So much to do and see and potential to uncover. And if you need someone I will be that someone, but please don't keep this to yourself.

Just remember suicide is permanent for your temporary pain.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Unleash Inspiration: 15 Relatable Disney Lyrics!

Leave it to Disney to write lyrics that kids of all ages can relate to.

The 15 most inspiring Disney songs

Disney songs are some of the most relatable and inspiring songs not only because of the lovable characters who sing them, but also because of their well-written song lyrics. While some lyrics make more sense with knowledge of the movie's story line that they were written for, other Disney lyrics are very relatable and inspiring for any listener.

Keep Reading...Show less

The Six Most Iconic Pitbull Lyrics Of All Time

Mr. Worldwide just wants to see you succeed.

a photo of artist Pitbull

It is no secret that Pitbull is a gifted artist, but many fail to remember that he can be a source of great inspiration as well. The following is a list of iconic Pitbull lyrics that we know and love. Read on to feel empowered — if you think you can handle it.

Keep Reading...Show less

11 Essential Expectations for Becoming the Ultimate Cheermeister

Mastering Festive Expectations: Tips to Shine as Your Holiday Cheermeister

Crazy for Christmas

So you’ve elected yourself as this year's Holiday Cheermeister, there’s no shame in that. The holidays are your pride and joy, and you've taken on the responsibility to get everyone in the spirit. With only one week until Christmas, here are some things we expect from you, Cheermeister.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments