7 Celebrities Who Inspire Me To Keep Fighting My Mental Illness

7 Celebrities Who Inspire Me To Keep Fighting My Mental Illness

Here are a few people I aspire to be who also suffer from mental illnesses

As someone who battles with mental illness, it is difficult to believe that you aren't alone in this fight. This week, I have compiled a list of my personal favorite well-known people who also battle mental illness, and who inspire me to keep fighting.

1) Amy Bleuel

Many of you may know about the Semi-Colon Project, which is an organization dedicated to the prevention of suicide and spreading awareness of mental illness. Meet the incredible founder who invented this global non-profit network that saves millions of lives through presenting hope and love to those struggling with depression, self-harm, addition and other mental illnesses.

In a sentence, a semi-colon is used to connect two ideas instead of ending the sentence. The meaning behind the semicolon is that you don't have to stop your life short; you will continue your journey and your story. Although Bleuel sadly died last year via suicide after her battle with depression, her memory lives on in this great foundation.

2) Logic

Logic is an American rapper from Maryland, who has battled with depression and anxiety. He recently came out with the song "1-800-273-8255" (the actual suicide hotline number), which demonstrates the thought process of someone who is on the line between making a suicide attempt and surviving. Logic made this song to spread awareness, in hopes that whoever may be considering ending their life, they will hear this song and call the suicide hotline.

If you haven't heard it yet, here is Logic's song from his MTV performance

3) Kate Fenner, A.K.A AwkwardApostrophe

Kate Fenner A.K.A. AwkwardApostrophe is one of my personal favorite Instagram artists. Fenner suffers from Schizophrenia and to help relieve some of her symptoms, such as hallucinations, she sketches them. Here are a few of her most popular sketches:

"I hallucinate bugs quite often, and my depression makes me feel worthless like a fly," she explained in a post for Bored Panda.

This is my personal favorite, Brian the songbird. Fenner brings her hallucinations to life using her stunning techniques and skill with her beautifully executed drawings.

This is Ledger from Homestead, another one of Fenner's most recent characters. Read more about him on her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/awkwardapostrophe/

4) Yayoi Kusama

Another artist that suffers from Schizophrenia, Yayoi Kusama is a Japanese artist and writer renowned for her incredible use of color or pattern in a variety of media such as painting, collage, sculpture, as well as many others. Her art depicts the psychedelic colors and patterns she can see during an episode. Some of my personal favorite art pieces include, All The Eternal Love I Have For Pumpkins, The Infinity Room, and From Here To Infinity.

(All The Eternal Love I Have For Pumpkins, by Yayoi Kusama)

Despite her age and mental illness, Kusama is one of the most famous and successful artists in Japan, she even recently received her own art museum in Tokyo.

As you may see, Kusama's art and Fenner's both represent the same illness they suffer from (Schizophrenia), but as you can see, the illness affects them differently. This is vital to understanding the truth about mental illness, even if two people have the same illness, it doesn't mean that they suffer from, experience, or cope with it the same way.

5) Demi Lovato

Many of my close friends and family know how much I absolutely love Demi Lovato, so I may be a bit biased when talking about her. Within past years, Demi Lovato has been known to struggle with Bipolar Disorder and the eating disorder known as Bulimia. Once Lovato received inpatient treatment, she was able to work past her illness and continue making incredible, mind-blowing music. Lovato is an incredible idol to me. I have adored her since the early days of "Camp Rock", and have been a fan of her throughout the years. Knowing that she is surviving through her mental illness makes it easier for me to combat mine, and often when I am struggling the most, I just put on my headphones and listen to her music and gets me through the day. People have different methods of coping, her music makes the bad times seem a little less worse.

6) Carrie Fisher

Okay, so this one does make me a little bit sad because I did not know that Carrie Fisher suffered from Bipolar Disorder until after she died. I also did not know what a huge advocate of the mental health community she was until after her death. So technically, I did not become such a huge fan of her until after her death but even so, Carrie Fisher was such a freaking badass during her life, she knew how to be a great role model, whether in the acting world or in the mental health world. All in all, Fisher was unashamed to be who she truly was and in that, demonstrates someone I want to be in life.

7) J.K. Rowling

Same thing with Demi Lovato, if you know me and love me, you know I love J.K. Rowling and "Harry Potter". This incredible Queen of Literature may suffer from Depression, but by God, I am so glad that she is surviving through it. Many of you may not realize, but "Harry Potter" was very important to me as well as another entire generation of kids; A generation who grew up dying for the next book and dreaming about how awesome the movies were going to be. An entire generation that was basically the startup for all fanfiction, this woman helped raise a whole generation of kids who practically cried a river of tears when they first visited Harry Potter World and tasted that godly butterbeer. This was an entire generation that learned about racism, death, bullies, war, monsters (real ones, and the human ones), friendship, real magic and the power of true, inconceivable love.

An entire generation that was saved by this brilliant woman and her brilliant gift.

This message may never reach these people that I aspire to be, but thank you for everything you have given me. Without you, I don't think my life would be so worth fighting for. You have given me the hope, inspiration, perspective, love, strength and the magic, to overcome my illness and to keep going.

Cover Image Credit: Insp

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.

Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black and white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble; and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time, until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling; whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die," or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you, you are not alone.

If you're thinking about hurting yourself please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionhotline.org to live chat with someone. Help it out there and you are not alone.

Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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Freshman Year Of College Taught Me Important Lessons That I'll Never Forget

What people don't tell you about your first year of college.


Everyone looks forward to the day he or she walks across a stage and receives a high school diploma. The unlimited possibilities that college will hold for you and the new people you will meet are exciting. Going into college, I didn't know what to expect. I had heard stories on how to make friends, what to do to maintain a social and academic life, and how to not allow the new environment to overwhelm me. However, this did not make my transition into college any easier.

I believe the most important thing l learned that no one told me was the fact that not everyone is going to have the same heart as you, and that's okay. There will be people who will make you question if you made the right decision or if you are doing something wrong. I transitioned from being surrounded by people who had similar qualities as me to people surrounded by people who could not be more different. That is part of the college experience.

Everyone comes from somewhere different and think and act in various ways. College has made me more open to different ideas and allowed me to realize that not everyone will always be kind to you. How other people treat you is not always a reflection of how you treat them. College has taught me to let the little things that bother me go because there is no point to waste time on something that is not going to impact you in a positive manner.

The next lesson I've learned since I started college is that it's okay to be alone; it's even okay to want to be alone. One of the things stressed to me before I started college was to put myself out there and do everything I can do to meet new people. Which I did, and am so glad because I have met some people who I couldn't live without now.

However, that does not mean I never want alone time. For me, I have noticed that in order to focus on myself mentally I need a day or two away from all the commotion that is college. Being alone helps me clear my head and focus on what I need to do in order to be my bests self. I came to the conclusion that being alone and being lonely are two entirely different things, something I did not realize in high school.

Overall, the first semester of college helped me understand myself more. I know that in order to succeed you need to make yourself happy first, not anyone else. No matter how important they are to you. College is a tough transition for anyone, no matter how prepared you think you are. And by putting your needs first, it makes the transition a little easier.

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