Every day, on my commute home, I feel defeated. I'm exhausted. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely keeping myself awake and I'm reflecting on what went well, and what I didn't do so well at my job as an inner-city special ed teacher. Much more often, I think about the latter more than the former, being on the phone with my partner, friends, and family to vent about my daily failures, struggles, and frustrations working with the kids.

I struggle mightily with giving consequences and just general classroom management. Sometimes I feel like I can barely manage a classroom as a first-year teacher, and I reflect each day, for probably too long, on ways I fail as a teacher trying to manage a difficult classroom. Some people have an easy job with kids who do their work when you tell them to do their work, with kids who sit down when you tell them to sit down, who get out of the hallway when you tell them to get out of the hallway.

I love my kids, but it's a lot more complicated and difficult than that, but my kids aren't the type of kids who follow my "what to do" directions that simply get out of the hallway, do their work, or sit down. I have to repeat myself and be persistent, and try different ways to get my students to follow along and do their work.

I have tried yelling and even screaming at my kids when I inevitably lost my cool, and I regret doing so and have resolved to do so as minimally as possible: that only antagonized them and harmed my relationships with my students. I have earned the reputation of being "irky" from some of my kids, and I was proud of it: it meant that no matter how things go, I'm always trying and being persistent.

But during these commutes, I listen to a channel I found almost on accident: WEAA. WEAA was the first radio station I listened to when I came to Baltimore and I immediately found it engaging and willing to take risks with sensitive topics like education, squeegee kids, and racism, which are daily realities of life in Baltimore City. I knew it was an NPR station. I knew it allowed people to call in and let their voices be heard on these sensitive issues. It took a long time for me to feel comfortable enough to call in to "The Voice of the Community." What the two daily hosts, Farajii Muhammad and Dr. Kaye (Karsonya Wise Whitehead) represented were two radio hosts who were strong and influential voices in Baltimore City, two people who were in touch with what goes on on the ground on a daily basis.

No, I don't agree with everything Farajii and Dr. Kaye say and believe. In fact, there are times I fundamentally disagree. It took me a very long time to realize that WEAA stood for We Educate African-Americans, and that it was Morgan State University's radio station, which initially put me in an awkward spot because I'm not African-American and I don't have any affiliation with Morgan State.

But that doesn't matter. I always find their programs engaging, and I always have respected the two of them tremendously as two honest and charismatic people who say what they believe without trepidation and shame, who simultaneously give voices to people in the community to be heard. Farajii and Dr. Kaye are wholly devoted and passionate about their work and their beliefs, and I have the utmost respect for two people who are passionate, authentic, and vulnerable.

Two weeks ago, I sat through a professional development through the Baltimore Teacher's Union (BTU) known as QuEST, and when I came through the opening ceremony, I was shocked when the opening speaker was announced. It was Dr. Kaye, sharing her own experience in Baltimore City Public Schools, giving homage to the late Elijah Cummings, and kicking off the professional development galvanizing our conviction in the importance of our jobs for the future of our kids.

To me, it was like a celebrity opened for us on the stage. A lot of other people at my table didn't know who Dr. Kaye was, but she was the voice on the radio every day, who spoke to the issues I face on a day-to-day basis, who made me think, whether in agreement or disagreement, on sensitive and necessary discussions that she would bring up every single day.

Dr. Kaye is contemplating a run in the upcoming 2020 Baltimore Mayoral Election. If she does, I would throw my hat fiercely behind her.

After the opening ceremony, I got the chance to shake Dr. Kaye's hand and briefly thank her for everything she does on her station. I doubt she remembers my name, but it was one of the closest moments I came to meeting someone who was almost a celebrity to me.

And so I listened to Dr. Kaye and Farajii on my way home from work today, and it has been the final day of WEAA's pledge drive to keep their programs going. I was well aware that Dr. Kaye and Farajiii were seeking pledges the entire week, but I felt bad that I couldn't donate: money in my bank account was rapidly running out from buying school supplies, water, snacks, and food for my kids.

But then I got my paycheck this morning. I realized I can start relying on other people more and spend a lot less recklessly on my classroom, and perhaps beef up a DonorsChoose or GoFundMe. I listened to Farajii and Dr. Kaye on the way home on the last day of the pledge drive, and I donated $100.

I kept listening, and time was getting tight. Another caller called in to give $365 over the course of a year: $1 per day. I thought that was such a good idea that I did the same. Twice. I made sure that when Farajii shouted me out, he would mention my school as the source of the donation.

In a single drive home, I committed $730 to WEAA. And I have no regrets or shame in doing so.

Is it financially irresponsible? I don't think so. My faith teaches me that the greatest law is to love your neighbor, and I don't think twice about the money I give to homeless people or squeegee kids on the street, or the money I spend on my classroom and my kids. I don't doubt my ability to make extra income to supplement my donation to WEAA because I have multiple sources of income, whether that's driving for Uber or Lyft or writing on Medium. Especially if I"m driven, pressured, or motivated to do so, I will make and save the money to compensate for my donation.

I look forward to continuing listening to Dr. Kaye and Farajii on the radio every day, calling in more and becoming more engaged with the program, and even possibly connecting with WEAA, and particular Dr. Kaye and Farajii for programs and events at my school. I know that I can personally use al the help I can get as a teacher, and I know that so many of my co-workers would graciously accept the help and the platform as well.

I donated and committed a lot of money to WEAA, but I don't think I could have made a better decision.