I Cut Off The Men In My Life And I Feel So Mentally Stable

I Cut Off The Men In My Life And I’ve Never Felt So Mentally Stable

It's been so… liberating.


For the past 7 years or so I have always been dating or talking to a man (or maybe even multiple men if in the talking stage).

Part of me has always known that this isn't the wisest way to go about things. Seeking out the affection and attention of a man constantly really is exhausting, and recently I found it to be more of a chore than something that was even making me feel good.

Waking up and feeling obligated to text back, feeling like I need to put as much effort in as these men were, I just couldn't give them what they wanted from me. If it's not blatantly obvious, clearly, I didn't like them as much as they liked me, or maybe I would've been more inclined to participate.

Of course, there have been times where I was dating someone and felt very differently about it. With my last boyfriend, I was so deeply infatuated with him that I depended on his attention like a drug I was disgustingly addicted to and was ruining my life. I don't ever want to lead anyone on or make them think I care more than I do simply because I enjoy the stable attention. My goal will never be to hurt anyone.

Ultimately, I just find so many men (most of the men in my life until recently) unbelievably annoying.

To the point where I just couldn't handle it anymore. My mom always tells me that if someone does something that annoys you that badly early on it will only get worse, and that is frighteningly true. For example, I talked to this guy on and off for a year or so. He would tell me he loved me, so it was a very deep relationship for him, whereas for me I just couldn't get my feelings to that point.

Not only because of the pressure of knowing I didn't feel the same but also because of the little annoying things he did that became bigger and bigger to me as time went on. Silly, silly things. I struggle to be with a guy who lacks maturity, and I think maturity has a lot to do with the way one handles sexuality/sex.

He would post very gross and childish things on his social media about sex, sexual acts, women, etc. Though these were often jokes, it didn't sit right with me. It also confuses me why men often feel the need to like and comment on naked/half-naked unrealistically beautiful and sexy women on social media but won't even like their own girl's pictures. This is an unbalanced dynamic in my opinion.

So, it was this among so many other things that led me to cut it off.

I don't think I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready to commit period, much less to men I feel so-so about and ultimately not respected. I've always wanted to take time and be completely alone, and I think now feels like a nice time for it. I do not feel like something is missing from my life because of it, but rather that maybe I am whole for the very first time.

I'm so excited to keep focusing on myself and my mental health, and when the time comes, be the best version of myself for someone who completely and totally deserves me.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
Health and Wellness

This Survey Shows How Quarantine And Drinking Relate, And I Can't Say I'm Surprised

"5 o'clock somewhere" is more of a guideline now than ever.

As it stands, and my friends and I are finally 21. We're extremely excited to be able to go out to bars and "get lit" as the kids say, but due to the pandemic, all of our plans have been put on hold. We'd rather wait and go when it's safe than risk spreading the infection and hurting our loved ones. So, we've all been quarantining apart, getting on the occasional wine zoom call. This made me wonder if anyone else our age were doing the same thing.

Then, I discovered this survey: We Surveyed Millennials And Gen Z About Their Quarantine Drinking Habits — Cheers. Here are 3 things that I discovered through the survey results.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Easy Summer Mocktail Recipes You Can Make With Items You Probably Already Have On-Hand

Keep these drinks in mind next time you're visiting your local farmer's market — you might want to grab some extra mint and limes.

With Summer 2020 in full swing comes the addition of many fresh fruits and vegetables to brighten up your dinner plate, but also your glass! Farmers markets are my personal favorite place to look for produce that is in season to make fun mocktails with.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Ways To Celebrate The 4th of July — Without Fireworks Or Social Gatherings

We created a list of things to do since social distancing may create a dent in our typical, planned traditions.

With the Fourth of July on Saturday, the usual tradition of popping fireworks, grilling out, and being surrounded by family has been modified due to the pandemic. Whether you're a loner or surrounded by family, there will most likely be some changes to your celebrations.

For weeks on social media, people across the country have been complaining that they have been subjected to fireworks going off at all times of the night into the early morning. This has sparked concern and questions about why this is happening and how are people even obtaining the fireworks.

Keep Reading... Show less

Carb And Cheese Lovers, Unite — These Are The Best Mac And Cheese Recipes On The Internet

Whether you need to get through the current pandemic or want to spice up your Fourth of July celebrations, these mac and cheese recipes will do just that.


My favorite food is mac and cheese, and it always has been. All it requires is noodles and cheese — it's so simple to make. Although it's my favorite, it can also get kind of mundane because it's such a simple recipe. This, of course, has led to many people all over the world experimenting with the American staple.

With our lives currently being turned upside down due to the pandemic, a lot of people are seeking comfort. These are scary times, and in order to make it day-to-day, we need to have our favorite foods as a standby. These recipes can also be used during your celebration of the Fourth of July.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

17 Things To Make You Feel GOOD This Week

Because some purchases are just necessary.

Y'all, we're struggling. You don't even have to tell me, I know. What a mess we're all in, right? This year is not going how we planned and the world has turned into one giant struggle bus. I guess you could be super philosophical about everything happening for a reason, but sometimes life is just hard.

There are plenty of ways to bring yourself out of whatever rut you're in. You could go for a run, have a snack, or read a book. Or, if you're really looking for an adrenaline rush, go shopping. This is obviously not going to solve the world's problems with one swift click of the "checkout" button, but hey, it may just give you the little boost you need today.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Wore A Butt Mask Every Day For A Month, And It's Officially Essential In My Daily Self-Love Routine Now

Thirty days later, my booty's as smooth as a baby's.

- Blissfully unaware that butt-care beyond squats was even something I should be considering in my self-care routine, I tried one of Bawdy Beauty's butt masks for the first time a month ago.

- I've never really given my butt a second though till I took a look at improvements that could be made with the mask — if one of the hydrating, firming, detoxifying, or brightening masks in the kit I received could either smooth out cellulite or tone my skin a bit more, I wasn't going to complain.

- Each Bawdy Beauty sheet mask comes in an individually-packaged sheet, soaked with a serum I massaged into my skin after removing said sheet. The clay butt mask comes in a convenient stick format I simply draw on to my skin and leave to set for about 10 minutes before hopping into the shower.

- I set a goal of committing myself to butt-care every day for one month. Between the regular use of sheet masks, clay masks, and their CBD Butt Balm in between, I didn't have many expectations.

- I thought the whole concept may just be a gimmick, but my butt has never looked so toned in my life, and the cellulite I had is almost completely gone. I wear one every single day when I get the chance.

I'm incredibly skeptical when it comes to marketing ploys and gimmicks in the beauty world. I'll be the first cynic to try out the latest serum on the market every influencer is raving about just to negate every grandiose claim it makes.

Keep Reading... Show less

Friends, you don't have to be quarantined to use a personal massager, you know? Because, sure, quarantine made for a lot of extra quality time with yourself, but no matter what phase of the reopening process you're in, it's normal and actually healthy to take care of your sexual needs on your own.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Books I Didn't Realize Are About Gay Women

If you read primarily LGBTQ fiction, then this list might help to expand your TBR list.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Frequent readers of LGBTQ fiction might feel like they're reading the same book over and over again, with few exceptions.

Most of these books were on my TBR list for months and I didn't realize they were about gay women until I was reading them, hopefully, this list of books can interest you in expanding your reading material and seeking out different stories.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments