It starts with walking behind the other group members on the sidewalk, being forced to miss out on conversations that may lead to inside jokes. Then, you slowly become the concerned friend that always texts or snaps first. Sometimes this leads to opened snaps and no return in sight. It can get lonely even when you feel like you have many friends. I have experienced this many times due to my bombastic personality and lack of a filter. However, I am the most loyal and caring friend to those I love. It can be hard when the ones you care the most for do not reciprocate their feelings back. However, that is just part of life. Not everyone is going to follow the golden rule and treat you how they want to be treated.
The inevitable truth about the misfit friend is that you never truly find a friend group that stays with you over time. Tensions rise, life gets complicated, and eventually the band breaks up. Usually, two members of each group become besties that are inseparable. As a result, the group feels silently uncomfortable for the others that have to endure through a less enthusiastic friendship. With the help of social media, isolation sets in when pictures or stories of your friends without you. It can make someone depressed or lower their self-esteem feeling like they were not good enough to be invited along for the ride. I know this feeling. It is a dark one that creates a void that eventually gets bigger as the friend group persists.
I, by no means, want anyone to pity me or think I am complaining. I just want someone to know that they are not alone in this fight for solidarity and lasting friendships. In our world of advancing technology and an increase in social media usage there is also discontentment with oneself. So how does one do once they become the misfit friend?
One method is to invest in new relationships. Sometimes it is time to close the door on old friends. They may have sentiment but if they are not benefitting you then there is no real reason to hold on. Fresh friendships can help you start over while introducing you to someone new that does not know your past yet. Think of it as the honeymoon phase in a relationship.
Another way is to have a talk with those friends and be honest how you are feeling with them. If they respond negatively it will be clear that they are not thinking about you. However, it may end up salvaging your friendship. Who knows, maybe they feel the same way as you do.
In the end, communication is hard and friendships are harder. It takes both parties to keep it thriving.
