Growing up in NYC Queens, I was always surrounded by Latinos in both my community and middle school. I was surrounded with people descending from a very similar culture; even if they were not from the same country, often we carried similar values. We all listened to the classic Spanish music and spoke the same language. There was an easy common ground to be found. Perhaps, there was even a safety net there; it was an immediate connection and no need to go further.
However, while attending a PWC (Predominately White College), that connection no longer existed. I was surrounded by people who no longer listened to my music nor spoke the same language. They didn’t understand the Hispanic embedded traditions I grew up as they were raised very differently. It was much harder to find immediate common ground and suddenly I was hyperaware that I am Latina.
It struck me when I would switch from English to Spanish as I would do at home. As I was raised with both languages, I would naturally switch from one to the other. It wasn’t intentional, but because I was talked to in both English and Spanish, it had become natural to hear both at once. I now realize that I would often switch languages when a word in English wouldn’t translate property. The word would carry a specific meaning that could not be translated into another language. I could no longer switch and expect people to understand what I was saying.
I also found myself even happier to listen to Hispanic music now at college. At home, my mother would play bachata or caporals whenever she cooked. My ear had become accustomed to listening to my music regularly, without even putting it on. Now the only time I find myself listening to bachata or caporals is when I put on my playlist. The sweet rhythm of guitar and love promises fill my heart with joy and once again remind me, I am Latina.
I don’t think there will ever be a point where I don’t feel hyper aware of my Latina roots, but rather I will reach a point where I’m comfortable being the only minority in the room. It’s a step by day step process as I find other people who feel very similarly as I do. I will continue to take pride in being Latina, just as I had done at home.
