If 'The Hunger Games' Characters Were Taking Finals

"The Hunger Games". Finals.

I'm not sure I see the difference?

Both are survival of the fittest created by the government (of the school...) as a means of entertainment for those sitting in the plush chairs that can become a recliner where you can comfortably sleep for hours.

Let's break this down character by characyer.

President Snow

President Snow isn't one person; he's all professors who decide that their final will be cumulative just to watch you squirm and struggle your way through a hive of tracker jackers (or caffeine induced hallucinations) as you slowly watch all hope fall away. They offer you a study session that only go over questions you ask.


Effie is your overly cheerful mother who keeps telling you how lucky you are to have such an opportunity! Oh the classes you got to enjoy, oh the berries you learned wouldn't kill you if you ate them. All that calculus that's going to carry you through balancing your checkbook!


Well, Haymitch is that guy who's selling you coffee to feed your caffeine addiction that went to Harvard but "just wasn't feeling it" so decided to sell coffee to stressed college students instead because it brings him more joy than success ever would.

The Careers

The Careers are those students who have been keeping up with the work all. semester. No article unread, no outline not made. They have this whole finals thing on lock down. Actually, they thrive in finals week because they know they're well prepared and can basically relax. But they won't. They'll tell you every day just how much they're going to study for that final you have tomorrow but haven't opened a book for yet. How carefree.


Peeta is the quiet one who lets you share his table at the overcrowded library even though he barely knows you but sees the look of desperation on your face. He too feels unprepared, but watch out kiddos because he can sling a 100 lb. bag of flour like its filled with feathers. So that organic chemistry test you and him share (even though you've never seen him in the class), yeah he's going to screw your bell curve. Buh-bye scaling.


And then we have Katniss. Oh Katniss. So brooding, so unfriendly. She sits at the cubby in the corner far away from everyone else. You see her, looking intense with books strewn all around her. She looks so lost and angry and so confused and....

Oh wait, that's me. Oops.

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