Finals Week As Told By Schmidt

Finals Week As Told By Schmidt

Schmidt Happens
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Finals week is finally upon us. The time every college student has dreaded all semester and there is no avoiding it. Let the stress, tears, and sleepless nights commence. Here's Finals Week as Told by Schmidt.

1. When you walk into the library and see that there are no more spots available because every freshman decided to start using the library now.

See Also: Finals Week As Told My Marshall Eriksen

2. You run into someone from your class and they ask you how prepared you are for the final.

3. Your first meltdown begins...

4. And then you get a call from your parents asking you why you've been so on edge lately

5. When you're three coffees deep at 2AM and believe everything will be okay even though you still haven't studied.

6. The day has arrived and it's time to take your first final so you give yourself a quick pep talk.

7. When you are the first one to finish the final early because you didn't study.

SEE ALSO: Finals Week As Told By Dwight Schrute

8. Trying to pack while studying.

9. And then you start wishing you didn't wait until the last minute to pack because now there is no way your stuff will fit into your car.

10. When you get your first grade back.

11. And you have to tell your parents how you did in the class.

12. When all of your roommates are done with their finals and you still have one left.

13. But then your time has finally come and you have finished your last final as well.

14. And you realize you have survived yet another hell week.

Cover Image Credit: tvmedia.ign.com

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21 Things You Say To Your Roommate If You Two Are Practically A Married Couple

Until I made this list, I didn't realize how absurdly close my roommate and I were. #sorrynotsorry
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1. "Can you turn the light off?"

2. "We probably shouldn't go out for dinner again...right?"

*complains about not having money* *spends $8 on Chipotle three times a week*

3. "I always pick where we go"

This is a fight you have with your roommate almost every day when you're roommate is as indecisive as mine.

4. "Do you have my keys?"

5. "Can you pick me up?"

6. "Is it hot in here?"

7. "Does this outfit look stupid?"

The answer is usually yes. No offense.

8. "Can you throw this out for me?"

9. "Can we get ice cream?"

10. "I need coffee"

This text is usually sent when you know your roomie is out running errands... errands you know are near a Starbucks.

11. "Can you tell me what happened?"

12. "Are you asleep?"

There have been times where I couldn't tell if you were asleep or dead... and I had to say this out loud to check if you were alive.

13. "Check your dm's."

*cracks up in the middle of nowhere* *catches a weird stare from your roomie across the room*

14. "Can you plug this in for me?"

15. "Can you pick a movie?"

Another instance where "I always pick" happens.

16. "Look at this girl's Instagram."

*chucks phone across the room at roommate*

17. "Can you call me?"

18. "Can we meet up?"

Separation anxiety is a real thing, people.

19. "Can you help me find my phone?"

*Tries to leave the house to do something* *loses phone* every. time.

20. "What should we do tonight?"

*tries to get ready to do something fun* *ends up staying in for another girls night*

21. "Why isn't everyone as great as us?"


Cover Image Credit: Juliarose Genuardi

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This Is The Biggest Lie About Your High School Years, Let Me Explain

The biggest misconception about your high school years.
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Yesterday I realized something. My first day of high school will be nine years ago this August. Ummm yuck. Nine years!? Are you kidding me?

Annnnnd just like that, my knees started to hurt and I grew another gray hair.

I was thinking about this when things at my job were pretty slow. I remember me walking in pretty excited but also a little nervous because not only was I seeing old friends from middle school but I also was meeting new kids who were from Crofton.

All of us freshman gathered in the theater department, sat down with our friends and then we were greeted by a balding man with a short goatee and glasses wearing dress pants and a white dress shirt who felt the need to literally yell "ALRIGHT EVERYBODY SHUT IT" in order to our attention.

For the sake of this article, we will call him Mr. Orange.

Mr. Orange proceeded to tell us what is expected of us as students, the rules, and blah blah blah. I really can't remember what he was going on about. However, Mr. Orange then said something that I took with a grain of salt at that time.

Mr. Orange looked at all of us and said "These will be the greatest years of your life."

Back then I thought it was true but yesterday as I was going to deep thought while there was nothing going on at work, all I could hear in my head was Mr. Orange was "These are going to be the greatest years of your life" and my response to that today as 23-year-old adult is "What an absolute load of garbage." That is the biggest lie that you're told in high school. Do not get wrong, I enjoyed my time in high school.

I enjoyed meeting the people I became friends with, most of the teachers I had, and the things I got to do while attending high school. But were they my greatest years? Uhh no and I don't believe this ideology should be believed by anyone.

To me, high school is this little snippet and of your life where you are trying to figure yourself out awkwardly and basically filled with having to do stuff you never really wanted to do at all in the first place. Things like dealing with drama from friends that is considered childish as an adult now, extremely flawed SAT tests so we can go to college, and basically being told that failure is not an option where in reality, failure is part of life and it is how you grow.

I am not sure about you, the reader's, high school but my high school was very cliquey. All the jocks hung out with the jocks, the goth/emo kids hung out with the goth/emo kids, the theater kids hung out with the theater kids, the camo kids hung out with the camo kids and etc. It just felt extremely divided.

Luckily for me, I did not really fall for cliques. I definitely dressed like wanna-be hipster much like how I do now but that did not stop me from talking to people from different cliques. I got along with some of the jocks just as well as I got along with some of the theater kids. Other than that, I did not really see a lot of kids from different cliques converse or hang out with each other.



"These will be the greatest years of your life" That repeated this phrase in my head multiple times. I just cannot agree. I cannot speak for everyone but I feel that your best years start as soon as you got your high school diploma. I can definitely argue that my college years are much better compared to my years as a high school student. At least in my experience, there is really no cliques in college; everyone just converses and befriends people no matter what you're into, what you wear, and what you look like.

After I graduated, I was able to do amazing fun things in the band I was in at the time. I started pursuing my dream to be a professional photographer and started to travel to places I've always wanted to. It was after high school where I feel stuff really started to happen for me. In high school, I was a little shy and insecure about what my peers thought of me which weighed on me at that time. Now I just flat out don't give a #$^& about what people think about me. So the argument that high school is the greatest years of your life is the biggest load of BS and Mr. Orange should be ashamed of himself for preaching that ideology to such young minds.

It made me think.. Why does Mr. Orange think that? Then it occurred to me. Maybe it is because he wakes up every single day going to a job he does not love. He spent most of his time doing work for something he much spends elsewhere. Maybe high school was when he was really happy. I would understand and sympathize with him. However, in the words of Gary Vaynerchuk "Quit complaining. You're in total control."

If he wasn't happy with how things were going in his life, he could change it. If he didn't like his job, he could just get a one; sure that is easier said than done but it is not impossible. So I really don't feel bad for him which may come across harsh but let me tell you one more thing about Mr. Orange.

Two years after I graduated, Mr. Orange had the bright idea as a birthday prank to one his students, to grab and pull up the poor kid's underwear and give him a wedgie in front of his whole class. Feeling embarrassed, the kid reported it and Mr. Orange got fired and is now working at an office supplies store. So yeah, I would not feel bad for him at all.



I'm gonna end this by saying this. In case I have some kids reading this that either in or about to go into high school. Your high school years will NOT be the greatest years of your life. Don't let my statement scare you. You are going to have a lot of fun and your best friends in high school are your best friends for life. But it is after high school where things really get interesting for you.

Whether you're going to college, going into the military, going into a trade, or you spend a year or two traveling someplace out of the country, that is when you are going to have the greatest years of your life. Have as much fun as you can while you're high school but DO NOT think it goes downhill once you flip your tassel.

Oh and if you become a teacher, do not give your student a wedgie. Das bad.


Cover Image Credit: David Kirchner

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