It always starts the same way: You “met this great guy last night.” So great that you find yourself smiling into your morning coffee and texting your best friend a frantic “you’ll never guess what (or who) I did last night.” You check your phone. No text, but you’re not worried. It’s early.
You continue on with your day, every now and then glancing down at your phone (trying not to be too obsessive about it). Still… no text. He’s probably just busy, right? Or hungover. Or trying to play it off coolly. You’re still not worried. You guys has such a great connection. He’ll text you.
By the time your back in bed (possibly the same bed you slept with him in last night), you start stressing. And the cycle continues for days. This general lack of communication or explicit interest has you thinking… Did you misinterpret the greatness or is he just impossibly complicated?
I, certainly, have been there and offer to you first, my condolences and second, my best tips to getting over an unbalanced hook-up.
Ask yourself: “Why am I hung up on him?”
Warning: Attempting to answer this question explicitly will lead to a mental breakdown.
Instead of you breaking down, why don’t we just break down the question?
“I” - You might just be lonely (and that’s OK).
It may have been a while since you last really hit it off like that with someone. That’s totally fine. You’re just being selective. You have high standards. Keep them high. Don’t let some fuck boy make you question who you are and what you want (that’s for the guys who actually matter).
“Hung Up” - Don’t beat yourself up for being hopeful.
I know I chose the title for this article, but the phrase “hung up” makes you sound like you’re referring to yourself as dirty laundry. Caring about someone else is good! It means the world hasn’t turned you completely jaded yet.
“Him” - Realize that it’s probably not him as much as the idea of him.
Yes, he made you laugh harder than you have in a while. And he told you all about his past. And his hopes and dreams. And you stayed up until 5am talking. But if he hasn’t made serious strides towards showing you he’s interested, then he probably isn’t. And if he is, he’s doing a poor job showing it—thus, wasting your time.
Moving Forward: How can I get over it?
Find something else to channel your energy into.
Whether it’s starting that project you’ve been meaning to do for weeks, pampering yourself, or taking that class at the gym you cancelled last week… now is your time! Ah, the joys of being single. Time to treat yourself!
Surround yourself with your real lovers.
That’s right. Family. Friends. The people who do choose to love and adore you and keep choosing you every day.
Forgive yourself, and move on.
Accept the fact that this one didn’t work out the way you hoped it would. And it’s his fucking loss, let me tell you. You are a prize. And if he doesn’t see that, maybe he’s not as great as you thought he was.
