Have you ever wondered why the relationships in your life have never worked out? What about the friendship that you both swore would never end, but drifted apart anyway? I have had way too many of these experiences and I can honestly say that I am exhausted from trying to fight to hold everything together on my own. I have lately come to realize that the reason why they are not working out is because of me.
A relationship is not defined by how compatible you are with the other person. While I would LOVE for my person or my friends to enjoy the same things that I do, that was never God's intention for the relationships in my life. The purpose of relationships should be to grow together, specifically through Jesus.
In Philippians 2:3-7, Paul says, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men."
Because Jesus knew us and loved us, He lost himself for the glory of the Father and for the good of us being found.
It has been a struggle in my life to come to terms with the fact that my relationships are not about me. It is not my job to change the heart of my person. IT IS my job to study what makes my person happy, sad, upset, or excited, and then, it is my job to make sure I am being a servant to that person so that they are living their best life with Jesus.
I am called to model my Savior, Jesus Christ. Therefore, I will happily lose myself for the glory of the Father and the good of those I love.
When I cheered at Holmes Community College, our football team was third in the nation, and we absolutely claimed it. Everyone knows it is so much easier to cheer for the winning team rather than a team that loses all the time. We went weeks knowing we would win and we would end up in the national championship. It got to the point where we began to lose any humility that we had. One week, we came face-to-face with a team that beat us the year before and we were nervous. We had no idea what the outcome would be, but we still went in with full confidence.
Half time comes around and we are being eaten alive by the other team. Our guys started to lose all of the confidence they had before because they were relying on our rank to get us to the top. As the confidence decreased, so did their will to play as a team. We ended up losing the game and our rank as third in the nation. It was more devastating than I would like to admit. I tell this story, because sometimes we get so lost in our relationships that we forget about the needs of the other person.
Losing yourself does not mean forgetting that you matter. It is simply caring about the life of another.