I have a friend that's going to college for architecture. He wants to build things and make them look pretty and aesthetically pleasing so that millennials can stand around and take artsy pictures of them. OK, that's probably not one of the reasons but I like to think his building will get me way more Insta followers than I have right now.
Something I'm not very good at is building. Building furniture, building non-sarcastic friendships, building my math skills. Some would even argue that I'm not good at building non-toxic relationships with people. I don't think I grew up in an environment that was very big on people leaving. Both of my parents have lost a lot of family members and through them so have I. My dad does a lot for people. Like a ridiculous amount. He goes above and beyond what is necessary to help someone and he makes sure they're always okay. He gives a lot, sometimes more than he probably should. I like to think that I got that characteristic from him. Leaving people and not helping them isn't really a thing I do or something my family does. It's just not how I was raised.
I find it hard to leave difficult situations. I find it hard to leave people or to just gently leave their lives. It hit me about three days ago while crying hysterically into somebody's shoulder that I really do suck at leaving people. I really really hate it. I literally despise leaving before they fix themselves or right before getting everything together. I'm ridiculously stubborn so I usually don't but sometimes you have to.
You have to leave before the person totally self destructs. You have to leave once they ignore you for days on end and let you cry yourself to sleep and let you have god awful nightmares every single night. You have to leave before you get afraid when somebody doesn't answer your text messages. You have to leave before you get really really hurt.
Some people are also flat-out lost causes. They're like real life Titanics. Get yourself a handy dandy door because that ship is sinking faster than my Chem grade. You need to not beat yourself up when you leave and you sometimes need to put yourself first. (Yes, that is a thing). Leaving is the hardest choice but it's also one of the best choices you can ever make.
That's not to say there aren't people worth saving. There are plenty of people who take your ultimatum of "fix it or call me when my inheritance kicks in" seriously and shape up and turn their lives around and make better decisions. Some people just don't care. They only care when one foot is out the door and your suitcases are packed and your car's warmed up. They only care once the door is slammed in your face and you drive away with the intent of never returning. You don't have to save those people. I read a quote on Pinterest from a Tumblr girl's anthropology professor: "You all have a little bit of 'I want to save the world' in you, that's why you're here, in college. I want you to know that it's okay if you only save one person, and it's okay if that person is you." Always remember that.
