Making New Friends is Hard to Do

Now Accepting Applications To Be My Friend: Realizing And Acknowledging That I Would Rather Not Be Alone

I'm not Akon, but I am a little "lonely"

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I'm one of those girls who, on every online personality quiz who checks both the "I consider myself to be an introvert" and the "I consider myself to be an extrovert" boxes. Some people may assume that identifying as both an introvert and an extrovert is contradictory, but it isn't; my personality has some aspects from both categories. For example, I am outgoing and enjoy interpersonal interactions, but I also value quality time to myself, and, for the majority of my time, I realize I isolate myself from people unintentionally. The truth is, I want to have friends, I think I know how to make friends, but I don't have a group of friends.

I have some acquaintances, but most of them are males. You may be rolling your eyes, thinking I'm ridiculous for not considering them to be my friends, but it really is problematic. Can girls and guys really just be friends? Some might say yes, and theoretically, yes, they can be. But, it really isn't that simple. Sometimes, when you're a girl and a guy seems to want to be your friend, his intentions seem amicable and platonic, but a few months later, he reveals he has feelings for you, which is fine until his attitude towards you changes when you reject his advances. It's disheartening and kind of insulting when this becomes a pattern. After all, most of us consider ourselves to be someone worth pursuing a friendship with because we have more to offer than just our body and flirtations.

That's where my dilemma comes in; I want to make more girlfriends. Being a girl myself, I understand that there is a certain level of relatability and understanding within an exclusively female friendship that isn't the same in other friendships.

For the longest time, I had convinced myself that I was perfectly fine with not having that close relationship with another girl, but I've begun to realize that I was in denial. I always expected people to just walk up to me, strike up a conversation, and then suddenly become my friends, but it isn't always that effortless. I'm slowly understanding and accepting that if I want to make friends, I am going to have to put in the effort. I can't always just expect people to radiate towards me. Maybe that means I will (reluctantly) get out of the comfort of my bed, go to that club meeting, actively engage in conversations with other girls in my classes, stop making my love life my entire life and start distributing yellow roses rather than red ones.

I used to make excuses, pretending I didn't have time for friends, but if I really want them, I need to stop complaining and make time.

I am a college student. I have a part-time job. I am bubbly, loyal, encouraging, and have a great sense of humor. I can roll my uvula and have an eclectic taste in music. I am now accepting applications for new girlfriends.

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To My Best Friend Who Taught Me What True Friendship Is, I Can't Thank You Enough

"To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding."
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Dear Best Friend,

You have been a part of my life for quite some time now. You have seen my good, bad, and ugly sides and have stuck by my side through it all. I don't know if I could ever find the words to truly thank you for everything your friendship has given me, but I am definitely going to try.

Our lives have taken some twist and turn these past few years, but we have stayed strong through it all.

Thank you for judging me just the right amount.

Throughout our friendship, I have made some very questionable decisions. A lot of people would say "thanks for never judging me," but I feel like everyone needs a best friend who's going to tell them how it is, to tell them when they are about to make a bad decision or how to avoid something worse from happening. You have always told me how it is (even when I don't always want to hear it), but I know that I can come to you whenever I need someone to set me straight.

You're always down to do nothing with me.

I think that you are the one person that I can call up to hang out and do absolutely nothing with and have a good time. From the nights sitting in and playing card games to ordering Chinese food and watching an entire Netflix series while I dance around with the cat: I know that we could do anything, and nothing together and it would be fun.

But also, you're always down to get lit with me.

I swear one day we will be two old moms at a bar drinking vodka crans and laughing about the stupid shit our husbands and children do. You're always down to go out and have a good time. Even if everyone else we're with is miserable, we find a way to laugh at ourselves.

You are one of the few constant things in my life.

I've lost a lot of friends in my life, but you have stayed by my side through everything. I can't remember the last time we actually fought about anything, but even when we do we can't stay mad at each other for more than a day. I know we will be in each other's lives until we literally keel over.

I want you yo know that you're the strongest person I know.

You've dealt with things that not many people go through ever in their life. You have always been so mature, and you handle everything with grace. You inspire me every day with your goals and successes and I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments.

Above all else, you deserve the world.

It's so easy to get caught up in your own mind and think that you deserve the things that happen to you, but please know that the only thing you deserve is happiness. Please settle for nothing short of that. It may take a bit to find your happiness, but I will be there every step of the way. You're a remarkable human being, and I want nothing but the best for you.

To the person who will hold your heart someday, please do not break it. To the person who may wrong you, you will regret it forever. To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding.

You, my best friend, future bridesmaid, godmother of my children, the person to bail me out of jail, the one who lets me cry on their couch for twelve hours,

I love you.

I will cherish our friendship forever. Thank you for being you.

Love always,

Your best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Adriana Ranieri

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Graduating High School — You'll Love It

Perfectly spoken by Donna in "Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again," "this place has taught me so much about friendship, loyalty, love, but most importantly, it's taught me that the best things in life, the very best things happen unexpectedly." College will teach you so much more than what you learn in textbooks, here's a small piece of wisdom anyone graduating high school should hear.

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My sister graduated from high school this week, and after going to her graduation party, her graduation dinner, and the always long and dreaded graduation itself, I've been left thinking about how different I feel now than I did two years ago when I was graduating high school. I am of course older, I think I might be wiser, I hope I'm smarter (given how much I pay for classes), and my fashion choices are definitely better (thank God). I look back at pictures or think back on stories and am certain there's absolutely no way I dressed or acted like that — I must have been sleepwalking or something. It must've been an invasion of the body snatchers — that person could not have been me. But then I think back on other memories and am sure they're from only a month ago when it's actually been years.

Summer two years ago, I still remember the start of college feeling like the start of my adult life, one of the hardest things I would have to do — probably the hardest up until that point. Now, being halfway through college, nearing the end, finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel reflecting off my skin, I realize that getting a job, applying my college education, and moving away from the confines of West Campus may, in fact, be immensely more difficult. Nevertheless, I firmly believe everything is easier with a roadmap, so for anyone graduating high school, here is a brief guide to what I believe to be the five most important guiding principles to starting college, in no particular order:

  1. Be nice to your roommate, if you're lucky she'll be your best friend.
  2. Find nice study spots like coffee shops or parks, it makes a surprisingly large difference - I have no proof that it improves test performance, I just know it improves feelings.
  3. Try new things, it could be scary, it could be fun - if you're lucky it's both.
  4. Call your high school friends often, just because people say you lose your high school friends doesn't make it true - prove those people wrong.
  5. Treat your friends like the Dynamos (from "Mamma Mia"), and love them forever.

College isn't too hard, it's just like anything else-- filled with ups and downs. You'll adapt, learn a lot, make friends, live cool places, eat cool places, study cool places, and it will be hard but a lot of fun. I'm hoping the same is true after graduating from college. You'll love it, or get your money back guaranteed! Just kidding, but you really will love it.

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