Getting asked if you really park the car in Harvard Yard? That is when you know. You are far from the beloved Beantown. Because, really, who parks in Harvard Yard? Not Bostonians, but maybe some out-of-towners will try. Because, those out-of-towners don’t know how amazing Boston is. Boston has the most pride and the best sports teams. Basically, anything you would want, Boston has it. Well, maybe besides ninety-degree weather all year round... But we got feet on feet of snow. So you will never miss sledding, freezing your fingers off, or winter fashion! For all those Bostonians this article will make sense. For all those out-of-towners, read up. You will see why we are the Beantown, Champ City, and the greatest city ever.

1. Everyone asking you to say the phrase…

I park the car in Harvard Yard. As soon as you say you’re from Boston they want to hear the accent. In my first day alone at college I probably got asked to say it at least seven times. Two things, one not all of us have accents and two no we do not actually park our cars in Harvard Yard. We park our cars in parking garages and on the street like everyone else. Crazy concept right?

2. Wicked and Mad Don’t Exist

When you are casually talking and drop a wicked or mad and someone goes, “Are you from Boston?” Yup, you got me! I am from Boston. Then they usually go “Oh that’s so funny! I never hear anyone else say wicked or mad before!” And you’re just thinking well, maybe it’s because you are not a Masshole. Or maybe you need to expand your vocabulary, because wicked and mad are essentials to every conversation.

3. You are Dunkin Deprived

Remember the good old days when there was a Dunkin every half mile. Or maybe even two across the street from each other. Yup, well you know you are not in Boston when there isn’t a Dunkin for miles. Or when you ask someone, “Where dunks or Dunkin is,” and they stare at you with three heads. Yes, Dunks and Dunkins stands for Dunkin Donuts for all the out of towners. Only loyal Dunks fan knows the nicknames for Dunkin Donuts.

4. When you can’t spot a Celtics, Bruins, Red Sox, or Pats Jersey

Self explanatory. Can’t see a sport’s jersey from the Celtics, Bruins, Red Sox, or Pats?You are FAR from home. In Boston, you are never more than a foot away from someone wearing a Boston sports jersey. I haven’t spotted a sports jersey in weeks since leaving Boston. Except, when I am wearing one. It is sad.

5. Everyone from Mass that you meet says they are from Boston

But, are you really? Western Mass is not Boston, it is Western Mass. Cape Cod isn’t Boston either, nice try. Newton and Brookline you guys border Boston, but still not Boston. But, if you meet anyone from Mass, they will not say Mass they say Boston. Never knew so many people lived in that one city. Sounds like the whole state of Mass does.

6. TB12 is not the GOAT

Yes, I know that is hard to believe. TB12 is not the GOAT worldwide. In Boston, people will swoon or do just about anything at the name of Tom Brady. But, outside of the those walls no one else is on the same page. Most people use the word cheater, because some balls were a little under pressurized. May you remind them that the Patriots won by a substantial amount. They don’t care. The GOAT, the TB12 is only around Boston. Past the New England wall the TB12 GOAT no longer lives.

7. NOBODY knows what a Rotary is

You talk about how much a rotary sucks and everyone just stares at you. No one can comprehend it. Apparently everyone else here calls it a roundabout or a traffic circle. Nope… it’s a rotary...

8. Jimmies. They don’t exist anywhere else.

Jimmies are the brown sprinkles. THEY ARE CALLED JIMMIES. NOT BROWN SPRINKLES. Sprinkles are the rainbow colors. Yet, no one outside Boston gets it. You try to order them at an ice cream store and you might as well be speaking a different language. They say they don’t have jimmies… like I’m looking right at them. Then you point and they go, “Oh you mean brown sprinkles!”. No, I mean jimmies...

9. "Sweet Caroline" isn’t THE song.

It’s never played. Even when you mention it, no one has never heard of it. Like… what? Where have you been? Under a rock? "Sweet Caroline" is on a constant loop in Boston. Like it is THE SONG. Our anthem. Our city’s pride. Out-of-towners just don’t understand the awesomeness. Praise Neil Diamond.

10. Suddenly realize how hated Boston teams are…

Walked around in a Bruins jersey once and realized how unloved Boston teams are… People think Boston teams are cheaters and obnoxious. When really no other city knows how to win like Boston. That is why we are Champ City. Maybe it’s just jealousy that keeps other cities hating our flawless teams.

11. The drivers are significantly better

People actually let you cross the street. You do not need to be constantly scared that, you are going to get hit by a Masshole driver. Red lights do exist. They are not just stop signs. Yellow does mean slow down, not speed up. Who knew these rules existed?Because, if you are from Mass then you know they don’t. Red lights might as well be stop signs and yellow lights might as well be green lights.