Relationships are an investment of time and energy, but most of all, emotion. Once you become attached to someone and start to care more deeply about them, it becomes more difficult to let them go. Monogamous relationships usually require the best compatibility between the two people involved in order to succeed in the long term. Those that are temporary still make us feel things long after they're over.
Here are seven feelings women in monogamous relationships can relate to after the relationship ends:
1. Stalking the ex's new girlfriend
We spend so much time scrolling through our social media feeds. When we wake up in the morning and fall asleep at night, something urges us to check out what we could possibly be missing. The relationship could be over, but the feelings stay fresh. You might think you are over it but old feelings can creep back up.
It's extremely tempting to come across one picture of the ex and his new girl. Then the next few hours are easily spent on stalking her social media. It sounds awful, but we like to feel like he downgraded when things ended, so we pass judgments on the new girl.
2. Wanting closure
Relationships are complicated and can even be messy. They may not always have a clean end. The relationship could be over and both parties may know that, but that doesn't mean both parties were able to gain closure. If you're anything like me, then you want to know what really happened and why it couldn't go any further than it did. This could happen in any relationship, whether you broke up over text or in person.
3. Jumping back into dating
It takes time to get comfortable again with the idea of dating. Having someone to share our lives with is a big deal for us. We dream of the perfect guy, and when we meet the guy, he always exceeds our expectations. Most of us date to find that perfect guy, so the sooner we can get back in the game, the better.
4. Wanting to date but not knowing if it's OK
Sometimes we want to make the other person jealous for having broken our hearts, but no one would want to make someone feel crappy about themselves. Usually, both people leave a failed relationship with some baggage and feelings of being less than who they really are. It takes time to heal and regain lost confidence.
It's always a shady area when contemplating how long you should wait until it's okay to publicize your dating life post-breakup. Is it easier to wait for the other person to become exclusive with someone else, or just make the move to date whenever you feel ready?
5. Jealousy towards the new girl
If you're carrying the remnants of your last relationship in your heart and not yet ready to move on, an ex-man immediately getting a new girl feels like the end of the world. She is the easiest person to blame for all the issues in the relationship and for the relationship to be over, rather than confront the reality.
6. Wanting the ex to be happy
It is hard to get to this point, depending on what happened in the relationship. Once you're here, however, you have hit the ultimate peak of maturity within an adult relationship. Sometimes arrangements to keep that person in your life are possible. Other times, not so much. But it really says that you are ready to move on from your last relationship when you can want the ex to be happy.
7. Not caring what he does next
In some rare cases, you couldn't care less what the ex does. If he's happy, good for him. If he's not happy, then that's his problem. You are at a point where you are your only focus and he is the furthest thing from your mind. It's okay to feel indifferent if that's really how you feel. Not all relationships are the same, and not all people feel the same way about the same thing.
