Eddy, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. A little over a year ago, I got on Facebook and I saw a post that brought me to my knees. It said that you had taken your own life, and I lost it. I curled up in a ball on the floor and cried my eyes out. When my mom asked me what was wrong I couldn't even get the words out.

You were one of the strongest people I've ever known. You were so talented. You always had a smile on your face no matter what was going on in your own life. You went out of your way to make others feel better even if it was at your own expense. You were always cracking jokes and being just plain silly. You had killer dance moves and God, the voice you had.

I've learned a lot from the time you've been gone. I've learned that nothing fills the Eddy shaped hole in my life. I've learned that time might make death seem lesser but it never goes away. Time doesn't heal all wounds after all. I still tear up when I play your music on my phone. I've learned that life goes on even if you want it to slow down.

I saw a psychic this summer and all my dead relatives came to visit, which I was grateful for. However, the person I was really looking forward to hearing from was you. I felt so bad after learning what happened and I wished I had talked to you before. I wished I had taken the time of day to talk to you and see how you were doing. I was beating myself up thinking I could have done something, even though I knew that there was nothing I could have done to change your mind if it was set. I was relieved when the psychic say that you were there, and that you were doing okay. That "all that shit about people who die by suicide are sent straight to hell or are in limbo is complete and utter religious bullshit." That was what let me know that it was really you.

I miss you, man, as much as I miss some of my family. I want so many things for you that you won't ever have. Your album dropped on iTunes the day you killed yourself. You were working on choreography for music videos and I wish you were around to finish that. I wish you were around to do your cover of "I'll Make a Man Out of You" like you said you were going to. I wish you were still around to comment on my random Facebook statuses. God man, how I wish you were here.