The winter season has played a significant role in my life. Two years ago, I stepped foot on campus for the first time as a freshman. My main goals were to get comfortable with my new surroundings and begin to meet people. During my first semester, my college experience got off to a rocky start. I became friendly with many of the other students in my dorm, but looking back, this wasn't the best decision, due to the character of some of those people. I started changing myself and who I was in order to fit in. I wanted to seem “cool” like everyone else, and I followed in their footsteps. I started doing things and acting in a way I thought I never could all just so I could feel accepted. Was it worth it? Absolutely not.
As the weather began to get colder, my motivation level decreased drastically. All I wanted to do was sit in my room and shut myself out from the world. Sleep and food became my best friends. All I could think were negative, depressing things. I had stopped playing sports, which played such a big part in my life in high school. Instead of the famous freshman 15, it became the freshman 30 with ease for me. I had given up on myself. My life was spiraling out of control.
It was towards the end of that winter and the beginning of spring when I received a wake-up call and was forced to make a decision. Was I going to continue living as this miserable person who only felt sorry for himself, or was the real me going to emerge from the darkness and take back control of my life? Slowly but surely, I started to find myself again. It wasn’t a quick process by any means, but I am happy with the way I've grown since freshman year.
Now, currently a junior, I've become aware of so much more in a number of ways. First off, I’m not that shy, timid kid that moved onto campus freshman year. I've been able to break out of my shell and get past much of the shyness I've lived with all of my life. I've gotten involved on campus in certain events that were of interest to me, and it's been the best decision I've ever made. I’ve come to realize that what you put into your college experience is what you’ll get out of it, and I don’t want to look back with any regrets.
I've also changed the way I see myself on an everyday basis. Reflecting on my freshman year, there was a period of time when I couldn’t find the courage to look in the mirror because I felt so trapped and alone. Since making a change and working to discover myself, I've lost 60 pounds but gained self-confidence that I didn't think existed. I'd always wanted to lose weight, but I realized it wasn’t about the weight that I lost that mattered to me. What mattered was that, for the first time in my life, I was able to start and finish something that I truly wanted without making any excuses, and I'm so proud of myself for that.
For so much of my life, I was always surrounded by negativity, due to living with parents who would argue all the time. Growing up, winter was always my least favorite time of year, because all I was ever able to associate with it were things that were dark, cold, and sad. However, I’ve found that, through my college journey, the season of winter has been a blessing in disguise. In life, it’s important to cut out the negative things that are weighing you down. I’m now able to look at everything with a positive perspective by only focusing on the good things. No matter how bad the situation may seem, you must always stay strong by carrying on, and I promise things will improve eventually. If you're able to live with the mindset of finding beauty in every dark situation, it will truly change your life, and allow you to reach heights you never thought would be attainable.
