When I researched the military life one thing that kept coming up was deployment. And every time I read about it my heart would ache and I did not want to even imagine what it would be like to go through a deployment. However, it was something I would have to go through so I kept reading hoping that I would be prepared. Then the day came that my fiance told me he was being deployed and my heart sunk. All of a sudden it felt like everything I read was meaningless because he was going to be the farthest away, geographically, that he has ever been.

Our relationship has been long distance since I moved to California in January 2015 so the distance is not as bad, but it is still hard. We are 13 hours apart now so whenever he is awake I am heading to bed or will be going to bed soon and when I am awake he is heading to bed or will be soon. We used to talk for about 18 hours a day but to go from talking that much, to all of sudden talking maybe 8 hours is difficult and sometimes felt like it was straining our relationship. However, we try our best to make it work and to not let talking to each other all the time affect our relationship.

I am not ashamed to admit I freaked out and worried a lot as the day of his deployment grew closer. All I could imagine was his ship sinking or the plane crashing or him somehow getting shot at or mugged. And it did not stop there- it just kept continuing to where it was all I could think about. My fiance noticed how bothered I was but he did not know what it was, so of course he asked and I told him. I told him my fears and he did what he does best he assuaged my fears. And that is honestly one of the things that has been helping us during this deployment.

For us the reassurance that each other is safe and okay is well pure heaven. It takes this huge weight off our shoulders and allows us to breathe easier. It also helps us to stay connected because we are able to keep each other informed on what is going on in our lives so we feel closer to each other despite the distance. That is not to say we keep each other informed on every aspect of our lives and everything we do day by day because lets face it that is way to excessive. If I am having a bad day at work I tell him or if something happened or if I bought something interesting I tell him and vice versa for him. Every moment he shares with me, I treasure, because I feel as if I am a part of his life and it is why I share with him because I want him to feel the same. And we find ways to cope so for me I cannot watch the news especially whenever they are focusing on the area he is in because I will get paranoid something will happen to him and he does the same. Yet, none of this would work of this would work if we did not have two things patience and understanding.

I've never been patient; that has always been one of the fruit of the spirits that I have been lacking in, but when I entered this relationship it was something I had to learn and learn quickly. You cannot be in a military relationship and not have patience because you or your significant other are going to drive each other up the wall because of various reasons including canceled dates/plans, misunderstandings, miscommunication, stubbornness, or just darn stupidity. I learned how to wait and not expect things right away or to jump in situations or emotions right away. I had breathe, calm down, and take a step back looking at the situations and seeing if they were really something to be worked up for. Though when it comes to giving gifts and surprises I still suck at waiting for the day to actually give them (and I doubt that will ever change).

And finally understanding is one of the biggest aspects of our relationship. Without understanding our relationships would have fallen at the seams a long time ago. Because the military is a huge part of our relationship and it affects every aspect. It can affect our dates, our plans, our friendships, and I am just going to stop there because the list could go on. But it really does and especially during this deployment.

I have to understand that even though I barely woke up he has sometimes been awake for over 18 hours and is exhausted so he just cannot stay awake and talk to me. And the same is true for him especially since I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat and have work when he is actually free. We have had to understand that there will be days when we cannot talk and that is okay because there are days when we can. I have to understand there are days when he does not want to talk about work he just wants to hear about my day and whatever I have been up to that day or that week. And I have to understand things cannot get done right away so stop expecting that and let things happen when they can. We both understand that we get forgetful or that something comes up so plans or dates we had have to be pushed back or canceled. It is not easy, but he makes it worth it because he is one of the greatest things in my life and I will not let misunderstandings, lack of patience, or my selfishness get in the way of our relationship or his happiness.

Deployments are scary to go through no matter what branch your significant other may be in or where he or she is going. You still have that fear that something is going to go wrong or something will happen to him. And that is certainly true for me. I have to constantly remind myself to not overthink and constantly think or focus on the worst. And it is hard! But with his reassurance I get through it. We found ways that work for us to help us get through this deployment and future deployments if he stays in the military, but my advice is to find what works for ya'll to help you guys get through the deployment and keep your relationship strong. I would not change the experience I am going through right now with this deployment, but I eagerly count the days till he gets home and I can be in his arms again.