In today’s day and age, everyone wants to be a writer. From unemployed English majors to old truck drivers, it seems that everyone wants to be the next Hemingway. The issue is that somewhere in between "Paradise Lost" and "Fifty Shades of Grey," the term “writer” has lost its exclusivity.

Now that any tween with a smartphone can run their own blog, it starts to get a little tricky when it comes to differentiating the real writers from the wannabe writers. Luckily, with the help of this comprehensive guide, we can begin to sift out the phonies and give credit where it’s due.

1. You “work” at Starbucks with your laptop and a leather-bound notebook – preferably Moleskine.

2. You are nearing alcoholism; your friends are currently planning an intervention.

3. You have one pet cat. A Hemingway cat is extra points.

4. You are addicted to caffeine. There must always be a cup of coffee next to you.

5. You are melancholy (and are able to spell melancholy).

6. Keep yourself unkempt – you don’t shave for days at a time. (Yes, this applies to women, too.)

7. You are broke. Thinking about applying to Starbucks.

8. You chain-smoke cigarettes – Carrie Bradshaw style.

9. You have read (and loved!) all of the classics. (I’m sorry, but no one enjoys reading "Great Expectations.")

10. Must own a pair of thick-framed glasses – with or without the actual prescription.

11. You use fancy vocabulary, complicated constructions, and write only in long, meaningful sentences.

12. You are not good at math.

13. You will absolutely not do an e-book.

14. You have a degree in English literature and insist that you enjoyed reading four novels at once.

15. You own (and use) a typewriter. You assert that, “Writing isn’t truly writing when the computer corrects your grammar.”

16. You have a god complex. I mean, you do create whole worlds from your imagination.

17. You own a beret and a scarf. And maybe even a checkered sweater.

18. Inspiration will strike you at random moments in public, and you must write them down in your journal. In fact, keep your Moleskine under your arm at all times.

19. The more bohemian, the better.

20. You produce masterpieces on the first try – editing is for amateurs.

For those of you who aren’t sure if you are a "real" writer or a "wannabe" writer, study this list and maybe someday, if you’re lucky, you can be a real writer, too. And if you happen to fall short on any of these requirements, there is one surefire solution to becoming a writer: write. Write every day, even on those days when your prose sounds like it was written by Lennie from “Of Mice and Men,” and you want to smash your computer typewriter with a crowbar.