Being in Catholic school may seem tough at times, but there are certain rules and habits you can follow to stay out of trouble. Yes, it may be annoying to wear the uniform everyday and not be allowed to wear anything else, even when you have those dress down days, but it's all worth it in the end.
1. Know the uniform
Don’t worry, you can never wear too much plaid! Even though now I can barely look at it in a store anymore without feeling disgusted. For fall and spring uniforms, you may wear a light blue and grey plaid skirt with white polo combo. Oh and don’t forget the white knee socks and Mary Janes because God forbid you wear Sperry’s! For winter, the uniform usually consists of an ugly green and red plaid skirt with a white long sleeve polo. If you’re rebellious like me, you may even wear green instead of blue tights! But those are your only two options so don’t think you have much to choose from.
2. Along with the uniform, know the dress rules
You must abide by the rules, even when it seems like the school cares more about the dress code than learning. No nail polish! No make-up! No dyed-hair! No hair out! Skirt is below your knees, not your thighs (But don’t worry there’s a little trick to this, it’s called mastering the art of “rolling”)! Clean your skirts! Iron them! No holes! Every grade must wear their designated pins and colored sweaters! No tight clothes! If it doesn’t fit you, buy a bigger size! Oh, but don’t let them get baggy either! No midriff! Proper undergarments at all times, that means adding shorts under your skirts! No altering the uniform! Only the gym uniforms in gym! No low rise pants! No piercings! No tattoos! Only leather or leather-like close-toe shoes! No sneakers unless in gym! No high heels! No hats! No wearing college sweatshirts or anything else that does not strictly say your school name! Trust me I learned this the hard way with receiving two detentions for wearing the two schools I was deciding between. No jewelry! Oh and my personal favorite that I could somewhat put under this category… no pregnancies! I could go on if you want.
3. Even on dress-down days, know there are always secret restrictions
Yeah, you may be excited. Woohoo no itchy skirt and uncomfortable polo today! But wait, you must wear clothing that says your school somewhere on it and what do you have besides that one fleece you wear every day and your skirt?! Nothing but your uniform and maybe one pair of sweatpants if you’re lucky. Good luck actually getting a full on dress-down day!
4. Don't forget that everyone from the public schools hate you because they think you're entitled just because you decided not to go to their school
It doesn’t matter what you say, just stay away from them. They hate you and always will, no matter if it’s because of the way their parents talk about you or their other friends. But you’ll never change their views so don’t even try to defend yourself or your school. There will always be a divide.
5. Don't think you'll ever learn about periods or sex because you are only told to avoid it at all costs and that's the end of discussion
There’s no time for sex-ed class in Catholic school. Instead, you shout penis around the room until you aren’t uncomfortable or don't laugh anymore and that’s the farthest the discussion will ever go. Wait until marriage, kids!
6. School dances are a no-no
"Always make room for Jesus when you are dancing with a boy!” is what you’ll hear throughout your four years. And no tank tops, flip flops, booty shorts, or anything along the same lines in any circumstance. Basically, I just wouldn’t go if I were you. It’s not the worth the time or energy. It’s also really awkward to spot your teachers judging you with their eyes in the dark gym.
7. Put on the act of always being a good girl because every small thing you do is a sin
It doesn’t matter if it’s blasting your music a little too loud when you’re driving up the hill or deciding to wear a little more brownish than black shoes that day; you’re always wrong. Take this from me, as I’ve done both and received detention.
8. Appreciate gym class being a joke compared to the daunting timed miles and rigorous curriculums at public school
This was the only thing I enjoyed as I talked to my public school friends who were terrified of failing gym, a concept very foreign to me and luckily I never had to experience.
9. You have to sing during mass, no matter if you sound like the angel or devil
Get ready to sing that Alma Mater non-stop. Let's hope you don't screw up singing for everyone and sound somewhat good then! Oh, and no talking during mass, ever. I had to learn this the hard way.
10. Don't talk to boys unless they are coming for a special joint "brother and sister" school function
Throwback to that one and only time I got to go to my crush’s school my sophomore year for a presentation and I dared to add makeup and a scarf to my uniform and actually brushed my hair that day. What a good, yet rebellious time to be alive!
11. Never take the Saturday nights for granted because you're lucky if something is even going on
Most private school parents are strict and don’t allow their kids to have parties, so the few times they do, make sure you go out and crazy since this will be your only shot. Oh, and don’t be surprised if you constantly feel nostalgic and talk about the same party for 2 months on end since rarely anything ever happens.
12. A woman named Patty will come to your school and tell you holding hands is losing your virginity and you'll just have to deal with this
There are no more words for this one.
13. Don't worry about doing your hair for school
In contrast if you show up with anything more than your hair knotty and completely in bedhead condition you will be judged and viewed as weird and a try-hard.
14. Don't shave your legs unless it's a very special occasion
Trust me, save your razors. There’s no one ever to impress except maybe every 2-3 months.
15. The food is questionable every day, and you either have lunch at 11 or 1
Maybe you’ll get lucky and it’ll be the really good Chinese food lunches. But stay away from the sandwiches; you never know how old that meat is. My go-to is always the hummus packs or fries because who can mess up fries?
16. Don't be surprised when your one and only pep rally every year is a joke and everyone skips
Can you say school spirit? No you can’t! Just think about it, girls all cheering for other girls. It just isn’t the same vibe as that big public school pride.
17. Don't be alarmed when your graduating class is somewhat between 50-99
I know it may seem a little scary, but you’ll get used to it. This was one of the few things I liked about school because you knew everyone in your grade and all grades, their stories, and details about them, including gossip. Who doesn’t love gossip? And it also was normal to hug everyone when you got to school, which I always thought was cute.
18. Go on Kairos
This retreat is more known as a spiritual transformation where you laugh and cry hysterically at the same time and feel a complete transformation in 3 days.
19. You're deathly afraid of nuns
Yes, the nuns still walk around with rulers to be funny even though it isn’t, and they can still punish you whenever they feel necessary. They may not all wear habits, but they definitely have kept to the strict traditions and morals.
20. What Would Jesus Do (WWJD)
This line will become the forced and practiced mantra.
Bottom line, you’ll never stop complaining about catholic school and believe you surviving is your biggest accomplishment. But secretly, you will miss it, even just a little, and appreciate your long-time friends that suffered alongside you those four treacherous years along with the memories you made.
