After a year and a half living below the Mason-Dixon line, you would think that I would be getting better at camouflaging my Northern self among the Southern people. But, it turns out, there are still some subtle ways to figure out which of the faces in the crowd are true Southerners, and which ones are just visiting from the far-off land called, "the Northeast."
1. They will never look cold.
The second it gets below 70 degrees, the Southerners break out their hats and scarves and shiver their way from class to class. The Northerner will still be rocking those shorts and Toms until things start freezing over.
2. Iced coffee is a year-round staple in their hand (and it's gotta be from Dunkin).
Tea, hot chocolate and pumpkin spiced lattes are great, but nothing beats iced coffee. It could be below freezing and the true Northerner will still be happily sucking down a large coffee out of the familiar pink and orange straw.
3. The idea of grits still makes their stomach turn.
There is nothing about a bowl of "coarsely ground corn kernels boiled with water or milk" that really appeals to the Northerner. It doesn't help that it looks like a soggy bowl of bland oatmeal. We'll eat all the fried chicken and gravy that you push at us, but it's a huge Northern no to grits in the morning.
4. They drive totally differently.
Is it snowing? No problem. Is it raining? Not an issue. Are people going slow? Go around them. The Northerner's driving may make the Southerner buckle up a little tighter and hold on to the handle with all they can, but they will get where they need to go.
5. Nothing they own is monogrammed.
So, how do they know which stuff is their's?? Easy. It's not hot pink, doesn't come from Southern Fried Cotton, and doesn't correspond with the nearest college football team.The true Northerner prefers a more subtle look.
Keep in mind, this is all in good fun. Because the longer a Northerner stays in the South, the closer they get to being a true boot stompin', Saturday football lovin', monogrammed good time.
