How to Read Minds 101

There are an insurmountable number of words in the English language. Yet, sometimes, we tend to use very simplified ways of expressing our true feelings. Whether they are just phrases or words illogically strung together, people around us understand what we actually mean. We are trying to express ourselves with the least amount of effort. Our everyday responses often also have multiple meanings.

Often, people say one phrase and could mean something entirely different. However, that person could also be saying exactly what they mean. Confusing, isn’t it? So here is my personal breakdown of my colloquial sayings and what I mean or “really” when I say them.

“I’ll do it later.”

Meaning: It is not getting done now.

“Real" meaning: There is no way that I am doing this now. It will most likely get done once my stress finally outweighs my procrastination. I will regret it, but that doesn’t change anything in the current moment.

“I don’t feel like it right now.”

Meaning: No, it’s not happening.

“Real" meaning: Whatever you're proposing is so unappealing that seven words is all you deserve as a response. I am unwilling to do it because I don’t feel like it right now, and let’s be honest, I won’t feel like it later. So no, not happening.

“I’m tired.”

Meaning: I AM TIRED.

“Real” meaning: I don’t want to deal with you and the easiest way to get you off my back is to say that I am tired. The “tired” excuse is the easiest, most relatable excuse in the world. It could be true, or it might not. Either way, go away! Or be very understanding and sit there with your mouth closed.

“I just want to sleep.”

Meaning: I just want SLEEP!

“Real” meaning: Sleep allows for an escape, so "I just want to sleep" can be translated into I just want to escape the world.

“I didn’t sleep well last night.”

Meaning: I need more sleep.

“Real” meaning: Leave me be. I am cranky. This is also a “Get Out of Jail Free” card for me because I cannot be held responsible for my actions when sleep deprived. It’s best for all involved if you just go away.

“I’ll take a power nap, no longer than 20 minutes…”

Meaning: I need a quick recharge

“Real” meaning: I am about to pass out for an hour or longer and regret it so much when I wake up. I’ll feel groggy, annoyed, and agitated with myself. So much for that power nap, more like a power hibernation. Might as well wake up a sleeping bear. Beware.

“Bed. Now.”

Meaning: No brain function left

“Real” meaning: If my body and bed don’t find each other in approximately a nanosecond hell will appear on earth. I am no longer a functioning person. I can’t process feelings or anything, all I know is I need my bed.

“I’m so hungry!”

Meaning: Food in stomach NOW!

“Real” meaning: I will fight people who try and get in between me and food. If I don’t eat I will become hangry and NO ONE wants to be around for that. This is when your stomach growls incessantly loud in class or at work. You get self conscious that a lion or bear roared from within you. Food is the only fix.

“I don’t want to do work.”

Meaning: Work is stupid

“Real” meaning: I have no drive whatsoever to trying and do work. Motivation is nowhere in my vocabulary at this point in time. My work will stare at me, mocking me that I need to complete it, but its hideousness will continue to turn me off from wanting to do it.

“It won't take long.”

Meaning: I hope it won’t take long

“Real” meaning: Ditch me or prepare to be waiting. Either way, time and I are not friends. We never will be. I constantly try to outmatch it or think ahead, and ALWAYS fail. So, you can either learn to find it endearing or just ditch me early on, because time is NOT on my side.