Ever get stuck with an endless amount of things on your to-do list that you know absolutely, positively, without a doubt, must get done? And then completely ignore those things because they're too important and it's all very overwhelming so you'd rather stew in guilty procrastination? If you are looking for tips on how to avoid the above situation, you've come to the wrong place. This is a guide specifically tailored to help you waste time, or PROcrastinate.
Step #1: Compile a list of all the things you need to do, beginning with the most difficult, time-consuming, and overwhelming.
Step #2: Throw the list away. (Or tuck it in a drawer somewhere if you really feel like being kind to your future self.)
Step #3: Make yourself a snack while you’re looking for a better snack while you make yourself a meal.
Step #4: Scroll through every single social media channel you have an account on. Three times. Then check again.
Step #5: Accomplish a bunch of minute tasks that weren't on your to-do list. This creates a false sense of productivity and keeps you safely in the PROcrastination bubble.
Step #6: Start a new tv show on Netflix so you can binge watch the entire season.
Step #7: Go somewhere public and people watch. Notice all the people actually getting work done. Sigh begrudgingly to yourself.
Step #8: Write a novel.
Step #9: Obsessively Snapchat and text every living being you know, in hopes that one of them will lead to a conversation that will distract you from your impending doom.
Step #10: Start compiling meaningless lists of anything you can think of at least three of.
Step #11: Spend an hour looking at recipes on Pinterest and then another hour attempting to make one.
Step #12: End up on the black hole of the internet (cat videos) with no recollection of how you got there (or how you’ll get out).
Step #13: Play a game with yourself to see how many seconds you can count consecutively...
Step #14: ...and then realize you've probably gone mad and should probably start on that final project that's due tomorrow.
