“People never grow up; they just learn how to act in public.” -- Bryan White
Adulthood sneaks up on everyone like a shaken bottle of soda. Your whole life you just shake the bottle and try to gradually loosen the top into maturity, but inevitably, some spillage occurs when you get anxious and move to quickly. Unfortunately for most people, by the time they open the bottle, most of the contents have already spilled out. Well, I say go a whole new direction with the soda bottle and follow the old proverb, “Fake it till you make it.” Just don’t open the cap, but pretend like you already did.
What does that mean in this situation? It means be a kid and keep the imaginative dreaming powers that we all cherish, but look like an adult. Here are a few tips on how to pull it off.
Let’s begin with an example day. A great start is to pretend to drink mature beverages while secretly enjoying your favorites. Fill a coffee mug with chocolate milk, play a game on your phone covered by a newspaper, and pretend to be reading. This will come off as mature and engaged in politics and adult stuff.
Next, when someone approaches you immediately stop playing your game and discuss your “daily stock market predictions” as if you know what you are talking about. The trick is to use names of companies that no one would recognize and pretend like you are uncovering the next lucrative investments.
After a successful breakfast make your way to “work.” If, like me, you do not have a full-time job then carry a professional looking bag around all day. Maybe a briefcase or a nice bag, but ensure to have some type of laptop or tablet inside so you can pretend to be working on important things all day.
However, do not worry, you do not actually have to be doing important things with your time. Just have your email open in a different tab and anytime someone walks behind you take a quick break from Netflix with subtitles on to browse all of your important messages.
This should bring you to about lunch when you, again, get a chocolate milk inside a coffee mug and eat a long lunch with some friends. Talk about how exhausting your day has been and act as if drinking the chocolate milk from the mug is energizing you as caffeine would.
The afternoon should be treated just as seriously as the morning and if anyone comes up to you at all throughout the day be sure to act overwhelmed with the amount you have on your plate. The busier you look; odds are the less busy you actually are.
Lastly, finish your day with a well-deserved dinner with friends. Trade complaints about how stressful life is while on the inside you are just enjoying it all as a game. While others suffer from taking everything too seriously, just remember that quality of life is all about being happy so never loose that aspect of childhood.
