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Relationships

How to NOT get the Girl

Interested in a girl? Here's how to guarantee she will want nothing to do with you in 5 simple steps

Janet Riggs

Dec 07, 2017

Huntington University

424

Camila Cordeiro

Fellas, if you're interested in a girl, there are ways to go about approaching her. These are five things you can do that will guarantee to make her find you creepy and never want to speak to you again (usually).

1. Tell her you love her approximately a half hour after talking to her for the first time.

Just.... don't.

2. Follow her to her vehicle when she leaves.

Unless you parked near her unintentionally, you have no need to follow her to her car. That's just creepy.

3. Tell her you have a wife and kids.

Most women DON'T like a married man.

4. Low-key follow her around the workplace, never letting her out of your site.

Or, ya know, following her, in general, is something you shouldn't do. #creepy #stalkermuch

5. Interpret general friendliness as an open door for sex (or anything really).

Wow, she smiled at you when you passed each other. She also smiled at every person she passed. Just because someone is friendly does not mean they are looking for sex or anything else from you. Don't interpret it that way.

Disclaimer: Yes, this is a bit of satire, but I mean it with some seriousness. No girl ever enjoys having to report a coworker to HR, but we will if the situation calls for it. It's not that hard to flirt in a workplace but know the boundaries. It isn't too difficult.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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How to NOT get the Girl

Interested in a girl? Here's how to guarantee she will want nothing to do with you in 5 simple steps

1. Tell her you love her approximately a half hour after talking to her for the first time.

2. Follow her to her vehicle when she leaves.

3. Tell her you have a wife and kids.

4. Low-key follow her around the workplace, never letting her out of your site.

5. Interpret general friendliness as an open door for sex (or anything really).

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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