There are a million ways to say goodbye to the past year. Some people will make Instagram posts commemorating it, some people will sit and reminisce about it, some people will throw all the memories and thoughts into a bonfire.
This is my goodbye to this past year.
This year was a painful year for me from beginning to end. I had plenty of great times and I am grateful for everything that happened to me.
I landed an internship and still have jobs and classes on campus that I enjoy. I got a new position at my favorite club on campus. I have a loving family, a set of friends, and boyfriend at school.
Yet, there is still something to be said about the grief and ache I endured and how I overcame it.
It all began when the ball dropped at midnight…
January began with me throwing up on New Years Day from stress.
Not the alcohol you would imagine, it was much, much worse.
Then came February.
A peaceful month besides being in a love triangle between a boy who could not settle being with me and a boy who made me feel so good, but it was only a fling.
March rolled around and I called it quits on my love triangle.
I gained confidence like no other because of this step, but I questioned why I was not enough to commit to.
April came with all its showers and I fell for a boy that was too good to be true.
I thought I was strong but the situation made me feel so weak. All the time and effort I put into loving myself collapsed because of rumors.
August came as a blessing in disguise: I cut off my relationship because I was sick of feeling small.
He was a good man, but not good enough to keep hurting myself.
All my exes and I buried the hatchet by the time November rolled around thanks to my article, "To All My Exes, 'Thank U, Next'".
November was also the first Thanksgiving that passed far too quickly while my Poppop was in the hospital and my family endured a heart-wrenching funeral.
December has been the worst of all with my Poppop in hospice care, about to pass away any day now.
My heart hurts every day when I ask about him on the phone or when I visit him as he gets care. A man who used to tell me stories constantly and had a smile so contagious now lays in a bed 100 pounds lighter than he used to be.
My best friend, my dog, Zoey has a tumor on her leg that cannot be fixed and we are putting her down shortly. A dog who is truly a mans best friend.
I have pushed away from people I was once so close with and I have no intentions of moving backward. Even so, losing a friendship is taxing on anyone even if it is meant to be.
This article is not a sob story for my year. This article is not to get sympathy.
This article is meant to build strength. This article is meant to help me recover.
This is just space for me to write down all I went through and encourage myself to accept the new year in open, loving arms.
It can only get better from here, no matter what you are going through.
